Ok, due to the health of his grandmother..they leave last night for Baloi to spend the last minute of his grandmother. I was so stunned when he went up on me to say they were leaving. A news that I so much hate! How sad for his lola but death is inevitable.
We were texting then til 11 am becuase he asked me to sleep na and so I did. By around 1 am I woke up and I checked my fon, I replied to his message..
Amer: Miz u.. :(
Me: :’(
Amer: smile lang tah para safe..
Me: ganun na nga..wag nating hayaan manalo ang lungkot sa oras nato. Sakit sa hart!
Amer: pls, don’t reply hap? :( Mamimiz kita higit. Hap? Sleep na..pls?
Me: mas gusto ko mag reply, sori? Labyu mahal ko. Smile na tau. C’mon na! iiyak bb mu pag di ka mag smile.
Amer: :( labyu!
Me: hehehe.. opo. Kinilig tuloy aq. Mahal lang talaga kita Amer. :D
Amer: hahahaha..labyu mahal ko. Pasaway! Nah sleep na hap?
Me: labyu..labyu..labyu..
Amer: nah! Di ko mapigil maka reply nito..Cge nah bb hap? Don’t repz..pls naman?
Right now, I don’t want to recognize the sad feelings because it won’t do me any good. He was hoping to bring me with him last night but the happenings were to fast that the two of us can’t even think of what the right thing to do. I wasn’t even able to hug him.
Just take care of your self there mahal ko and spend time with your loving lola.
September 24, 2010
Priceless Happiness! ♥
Today, I woke up with a very-not-so-happy-heart. Yes, I admit my paranoid mind touches my jealous heart these past days. Which I rarely felt in-spite of my me-myself-and-I attitude (human nature).
But later this afternoon, I felt an ease and joy that I wished to feel everyday but life is a constant change indeed and deal with it!
I would be hypocrite if I say not even half of my happiness was not a product of him. No! Because I would absolutely say, he is one of my priceless happiness everyday. He was like my daily supplement of happy vitamins.
I’m not saying this because I was in the state of love but with all honesty? I’m saying this because this is the reality within me. Every second, minute, hours, days that I am with him was like a renewal of self. A ray of hope and faith.
The way we discuss things out of our feelings teaches me to be open minded which I am struggling with because I was not perhaps. I always put myself into one dimension that I found myself suffocated on my own little bubble. When we discuss such issues (especially on me), he never embarks or never put into consideration that I am her special someone and so he have to take my side on this. No! If he knew I was faced with controversial issues primarily on my group, he guides me always. He’s my compass to come up with a proper decision making.
It hurts on my part though when he says ‘May ka-away ka? Sinu na naman ka-away mo?’, really it hurts because he was like accusing me that I am a trouble-maker. But he taught me to be open-minded and he knows I’m not. Though he admits that I am ‘maldita’. It goes to show that I am not perfect, just a vulnerable human being but he sees me almost close to perfection.
The priceless happiness there? When my family finally sees his good heart. Papa said when we are having a worship, Amer was right daw. Every human has its shadow but that shadow can only be moved by you. I was even touched on how my mom treats Amer now. Yes, my mom and I has been to a tug-of-war situation because of our relationship (Amer). During those times, my heart was coated with anger and grudges, not knowing the real feelings of Amer during those times. I even cried in-front of him about it, begging him to say what he felt but the only thing he said? ‘Masyado mo kasing dinidibdib ang lahat ng bagay, magiging ok din to at okay lang ako. Ikaw lang ang iniisip ko..’
God it breaks my heart! But he was right, we just let things fall to its proper places and here we are now. We have a healthy relationship with our parents and both parties! I know Amer is not so good in comprehending my skills such as this but his understanding to the reality around him makes me say ‘I wish half of his thinking can be inherited by me..’, if not let our kids be! :)
T’was really made my day filled with a priceless happiness. Thank you Lord for sharing him on me. We just owe everything to you to where we are now.
Before we bid goodnight to each other, I was so touched the moment that he hugged me and say.. I miss you! I don’t know why it just made me feel so special or I guess I’ve waited for these past days for him to say it.
But later this afternoon, I felt an ease and joy that I wished to feel everyday but life is a constant change indeed and deal with it!
I would be hypocrite if I say not even half of my happiness was not a product of him. No! Because I would absolutely say, he is one of my priceless happiness everyday. He was like my daily supplement of happy vitamins.
I’m not saying this because I was in the state of love but with all honesty? I’m saying this because this is the reality within me. Every second, minute, hours, days that I am with him was like a renewal of self. A ray of hope and faith.
The way we discuss things out of our feelings teaches me to be open minded which I am struggling with because I was not perhaps. I always put myself into one dimension that I found myself suffocated on my own little bubble. When we discuss such issues (especially on me), he never embarks or never put into consideration that I am her special someone and so he have to take my side on this. No! If he knew I was faced with controversial issues primarily on my group, he guides me always. He’s my compass to come up with a proper decision making.
It hurts on my part though when he says ‘May ka-away ka? Sinu na naman ka-away mo?’, really it hurts because he was like accusing me that I am a trouble-maker. But he taught me to be open-minded and he knows I’m not. Though he admits that I am ‘maldita’. It goes to show that I am not perfect, just a vulnerable human being but he sees me almost close to perfection.
The priceless happiness there? When my family finally sees his good heart. Papa said when we are having a worship, Amer was right daw. Every human has its shadow but that shadow can only be moved by you. I was even touched on how my mom treats Amer now. Yes, my mom and I has been to a tug-of-war situation because of our relationship (Amer). During those times, my heart was coated with anger and grudges, not knowing the real feelings of Amer during those times. I even cried in-front of him about it, begging him to say what he felt but the only thing he said? ‘Masyado mo kasing dinidibdib ang lahat ng bagay, magiging ok din to at okay lang ako. Ikaw lang ang iniisip ko..’
God it breaks my heart! But he was right, we just let things fall to its proper places and here we are now. We have a healthy relationship with our parents and both parties! I know Amer is not so good in comprehending my skills such as this but his understanding to the reality around him makes me say ‘I wish half of his thinking can be inherited by me..’, if not let our kids be! :)
T’was really made my day filled with a priceless happiness. Thank you Lord for sharing him on me. We just owe everything to you to where we are now.
Before we bid goodnight to each other, I was so touched the moment that he hugged me and say.. I miss you! I don’t know why it just made me feel so special or I guess I’ve waited for these past days for him to say it.
Oldies But Goodies! ♥
God knows I prayed for someone..
Who will say… “You are beautiful!”.
Who will say… “Sex can wait!”.
Whom I’m not afraid to cry in-front of him.
Who will hold my hand for no apparent reason.
Who will hug me when I’m sad and for no reason at all.
Who will stare at me just because he can’t take his eyes off on me.
Who will wait for me outside just to see me.
Who will cuddle me like a baby.
…and God answered my prayer as you all know. It was him who welcomed my fantasy into reality. It was him who win me back from my saddest misery. It was him who build great friendship outside the relationship. It was him who would rather give up the argument just because he wants to give me a sweet dreams. It was him who loves to listen to my unfulfilled dreams.
Now I want him…
To see in bed when I wake up every morning.
To be my last companion every night.
To be the father of my future children.
To be the grandfather of our grandchildren.
To be the man whom I’ll give the word “I do!”
..yesterday we celebrated another month of friendship and love. We’re still in-love just like yesterday! It was simple but the very special celebration that we have so far. We just had a walk to the beach. Spent the whole afternoon and evening at the beach laughing, giggling, teasing, cuddling…all the lovers happiness! Looking at him, holding each others hands makes me say, ‘I want to spend the rest of my life with you Amer..’
I hope our endearment Lolo-Lola will absolutely give as the ticket to a lifetime happiness. I want to sit with him on a hammock (just as the picture shows), while talking to our grandchildren the tale of our love-story.
Thank you Lord for guiding us as always. For guiding us with Love and Respect for each other and hope to be the oldies but goodies just as the photos up there.
Who will say… “You are beautiful!”.
Who will say… “Sex can wait!”.
Whom I’m not afraid to cry in-front of him.
Who will hold my hand for no apparent reason.
Who will hug me when I’m sad and for no reason at all.
Who will stare at me just because he can’t take his eyes off on me.
Who will wait for me outside just to see me.
Who will cuddle me like a baby.
…and God answered my prayer as you all know. It was him who welcomed my fantasy into reality. It was him who win me back from my saddest misery. It was him who build great friendship outside the relationship. It was him who would rather give up the argument just because he wants to give me a sweet dreams. It was him who loves to listen to my unfulfilled dreams.
Now I want him…
To see in bed when I wake up every morning.
To be my last companion every night.
To be the father of my future children.
To be the grandfather of our grandchildren.
To be the man whom I’ll give the word “I do!”
..yesterday we celebrated another month of friendship and love. We’re still in-love just like yesterday! It was simple but the very special celebration that we have so far. We just had a walk to the beach. Spent the whole afternoon and evening at the beach laughing, giggling, teasing, cuddling…all the lovers happiness! Looking at him, holding each others hands makes me say, ‘I want to spend the rest of my life with you Amer..’
I hope our endearment Lolo-Lola will absolutely give as the ticket to a lifetime happiness. I want to sit with him on a hammock (just as the picture shows), while talking to our grandchildren the tale of our love-story.
Thank you Lord for guiding us as always. For guiding us with Love and Respect for each other and hope to be the oldies but goodies just as the photos up there.
I Love It! ♥
I love it…when he texts me ‘labyu bb!’ even if I’m just next to him.
I love it…when he says ‘Mataid!’ though I felt most of the time I’m not.
I love it..when he held me close in his arms and say ‘Ang bango mo!’ even if I did not take a bath yet.
I love it…when he pinches my armpit and say ‘Gusto ko yung kili-kili mo!’ though it’s so weird.
I love it…when he jokes about my get-ups even if it means ‘I hate seeing you wearing that!’
I love it…when he says ‘Time to sleep na bb..tabi ako hap?’ even if he didn’t slept beside me at all.
I love it…when he leaves a note on my phone and it would just snooze, to see it was just his note reminding me how much he loves me.
I love it…when says ‘Sorry!’ even if t’was my fault.
I love it…when he said ‘Uyab baya kita, kung may probs ka problema ko rin!’
I love it…when he hugs me in times that I’m not ok and say ‘Ok lang yan bb, labyu!’
I just love it…when he just hold my hand and would not say anything.
and then I’ll say…‘I love it when I say, I love you Amer!’ ♥
I love it…when he says ‘Mataid!’ though I felt most of the time I’m not.
I love it..when he held me close in his arms and say ‘Ang bango mo!’ even if I did not take a bath yet.
I love it…when he pinches my armpit and say ‘Gusto ko yung kili-kili mo!’ though it’s so weird.
I love it…when he jokes about my get-ups even if it means ‘I hate seeing you wearing that!’
I love it…when he says ‘Time to sleep na bb..tabi ako hap?’ even if he didn’t slept beside me at all.
I love it…when he leaves a note on my phone and it would just snooze, to see it was just his note reminding me how much he loves me.
I love it…when says ‘Sorry!’ even if t’was my fault.
I love it…when he said ‘Uyab baya kita, kung may probs ka problema ko rin!’
I love it…when he hugs me in times that I’m not ok and say ‘Ok lang yan bb, labyu!’
I just love it…when he just hold my hand and would not say anything.
and then I’ll say…‘I love it when I say, I love you Amer!’ ♥
Today, Amer and I were heading somewhere. He’ll leave for Baloi (he’s birth place) and me to Butuan and Surigao. But before we leave for a vacation, we spend time together and I just want to share our bonding last night and just this morning.
Last night we had a movie watch. We watched Wrong Turn 11 which was so creepy, kelan ba naging smooth yung wrong turn? Hehehehe..anyways, after watching I sit closely beside him. He just gave me a look. I sigh softly…
Me: Mer? (sigh)
Amer: (giving me a wonder look) ha?
Me: (speaking softly and kinda shy) Nagugutom ako..
Amer: (laughing) Ay sus! Kala ko kung anu..
(exchange of words sweetly and then leaves..)
After a minute he’s back and then handed me a tuna can, sadly t’was hot ‘n spicy whom I don’t like eating then. But gotta have no choice but to eat it because I’m starving. Him watching pa rin and then I sit beside him again..
Me: Mer? Sino gising sa inyo? Tambay tayu dun sa labas niyo..(at the back of my mind I was saying, kain tayu ng salad dahil ang anghang maxado nung tuna, maawa ka!)
Amer: (good thing he initiated it) Ha? Milagro! Hehehehe..tara para maka kain ka rin ng salad.
Hahahahahaha..so happy for that. Labyu Lolo, my tummy and heart was oh so full last night kahit ni lock ni ate yung gate. Urgh!
This morning, he went sa bahay around 10 and we watched One More Chance. You know the Bea-John Lloyd movie that can tear your heart. While the movie is rolling and t’was the part were Bea said ‘Ako..ako na lang ulit!’. I talked to him..
Me: Mer? Panu kung sabihan ka nang ex mo niyan? (with a curious and heart pumping heart)
Amer: Eh, ewan.
Me: Ka dry! Hahahaha..kung ako sasampalin ko talaga. (lol)
Amer: Sasabihin ko anung na kain mo?
Me: Hahahahahahaha..baka love capsule.
You know simple things but can definitely save a day. We’re both aware that we are leaving and we just make the best out of it. I love it when he texts me ‘Labyu lola!’ even if I’m just next to him. It moves me to be teary eyed when he would just squeeze my hand at the silence of the momentum. The way he held me tightly on his arms and kiss my shoulders makes me want to just be held in his arms forever.
I love you Lolo Amer, see yah as soon as we are home. Next week will be our special day and I know both of us are looking forward to it. We’ve planned for it though!
If I just knew it would be fine for your parents to go with you then I’d choose to go with you than the trip of our group. Char! Hahahahaha..labyu!
Last night we had a movie watch. We watched Wrong Turn 11 which was so creepy, kelan ba naging smooth yung wrong turn? Hehehehe..anyways, after watching I sit closely beside him. He just gave me a look. I sigh softly…
Me: Mer? (sigh)
Amer: (giving me a wonder look) ha?
Me: (speaking softly and kinda shy) Nagugutom ako..
Amer: (laughing) Ay sus! Kala ko kung anu..
(exchange of words sweetly and then leaves..)
After a minute he’s back and then handed me a tuna can, sadly t’was hot ‘n spicy whom I don’t like eating then. But gotta have no choice but to eat it because I’m starving. Him watching pa rin and then I sit beside him again..
Me: Mer? Sino gising sa inyo? Tambay tayu dun sa labas niyo..(at the back of my mind I was saying, kain tayu ng salad dahil ang anghang maxado nung tuna, maawa ka!)
Amer: (good thing he initiated it) Ha? Milagro! Hehehehe..tara para maka kain ka rin ng salad.
Hahahahahaha..so happy for that. Labyu Lolo, my tummy and heart was oh so full last night kahit ni lock ni ate yung gate. Urgh!
This morning, he went sa bahay around 10 and we watched One More Chance. You know the Bea-John Lloyd movie that can tear your heart. While the movie is rolling and t’was the part were Bea said ‘Ako..ako na lang ulit!’. I talked to him..
Me: Mer? Panu kung sabihan ka nang ex mo niyan? (with a curious and heart pumping heart)
Amer: Eh, ewan.
Me: Ka dry! Hahahaha..kung ako sasampalin ko talaga. (lol)
Amer: Sasabihin ko anung na kain mo?
Me: Hahahahahahaha..baka love capsule.
You know simple things but can definitely save a day. We’re both aware that we are leaving and we just make the best out of it. I love it when he texts me ‘Labyu lola!’ even if I’m just next to him. It moves me to be teary eyed when he would just squeeze my hand at the silence of the momentum. The way he held me tightly on his arms and kiss my shoulders makes me want to just be held in his arms forever.
I love you Lolo Amer, see yah as soon as we are home. Next week will be our special day and I know both of us are looking forward to it. We’ve planned for it though!
If I just knew it would be fine for your parents to go with you then I’d choose to go with you than the trip of our group. Char! Hahahahaha..labyu!
Cry of Anger! ♥
T’was a rainy Thursday afternoon, I can hear the rain drops as it kisses our rooftop. I’m chatting right now and then suddenly my eyes filled with tears. I don’t know how to ponder my emotions lately. I easily get tired, get bored, my crybaby attitude visits me again.
I’m chatting with him and I definitely poured out my anger towards the people around us. One thing that sucks with him is his attitude that ‘bahala-na’ or ‘no-comment’ or he’s just good in keeping his emotions. I value his good attitude but not all the time we have to be good, right? Sometimes we have to be stupid in order for us to realize that this is reality, this is where we are trapped now!
I want him to open his eyes and even for just a sec he would try to say what he felt and voice out what would better for us. He may be a happy-go-lucky, yes-to-go-guy but I don’t want my side to perceive that attitude to be his normal one. I chose him because I know he has the heart that I want to.
Tell me, how could it be fair? Me and him just inside our home chatting and watching flicks that sometimes sucks or these two creature staying outside our house the whole night? Our parents would always remind us that we should be very careful with our actions to avoid the gossips of the neighborhood..hello? Where’s the fairness in it? And now they would treat as if we are a fugitive.
I’m mad! Upset! Galit ako! I’ve been keeping my anger the whole time but just this afternoon I can no longer hold on to it! My whole life I tried my very best not to disappoint my parents. He would tell me to understand my parents now because they were only parents. The heck! No way! I need more now their understanding.
I’m sorry for saying this but my emotions were to high that I’d better blog for now. Because I don’t know where to turn to? I’m lost! Yun bang pakiramdam mo na pinagkakaisahan ka ng mundo na ang tanging taong madadamayan mo di mo pa madamaya dahil hindi mo alam kung anung nararamdaman din niya at nasa isip niya.
..and I can’t help but cry! :’(
I’m chatting with him and I definitely poured out my anger towards the people around us. One thing that sucks with him is his attitude that ‘bahala-na’ or ‘no-comment’ or he’s just good in keeping his emotions. I value his good attitude but not all the time we have to be good, right? Sometimes we have to be stupid in order for us to realize that this is reality, this is where we are trapped now!
I want him to open his eyes and even for just a sec he would try to say what he felt and voice out what would better for us. He may be a happy-go-lucky, yes-to-go-guy but I don’t want my side to perceive that attitude to be his normal one. I chose him because I know he has the heart that I want to.
Tell me, how could it be fair? Me and him just inside our home chatting and watching flicks that sometimes sucks or these two creature staying outside our house the whole night? Our parents would always remind us that we should be very careful with our actions to avoid the gossips of the neighborhood..hello? Where’s the fairness in it? And now they would treat as if we are a fugitive.
I’m mad! Upset! Galit ako! I’ve been keeping my anger the whole time but just this afternoon I can no longer hold on to it! My whole life I tried my very best not to disappoint my parents. He would tell me to understand my parents now because they were only parents. The heck! No way! I need more now their understanding.
I’m sorry for saying this but my emotions were to high that I’d better blog for now. Because I don’t know where to turn to? I’m lost! Yun bang pakiramdam mo na pinagkakaisahan ka ng mundo na ang tanging taong madadamayan mo di mo pa madamaya dahil hindi mo alam kung anung nararamdaman din niya at nasa isip niya.
..and I can’t help but cry! :’(
I Love You Game! ♥
We were having kulitan when I told him to play an I Love You game with me. The rule was, state I love You word in 5 languages. I did it first..
- Pakabyaan nakun saka!
- Mahal kita!
- Gihigugma taka!
- *damn I forgot the fourth word..hahahahaha.
- Te amo!
Then its his turn..
(silence) then he said he doesn’t know any language except their language and tagalog. Hahahahahaha..I convinced him to try. Then me, nagyayabang that I won because I got 5 languages of an I love You word. Teasing him!
We were at Alvin’s car when we were playing that. We were supposed to get out of the car and me still keep on teasing him that he lost the game. He then suddenly stops me and say that he got an answer to it.
But you know what he did? He kissed me on the cheeks, just like at the photos and said, ‘yun ang sagot ko!’ Then I’m loss of words. Clearly I was the one who lose the game. Flang!
- Pakabyaan nakun saka!
- Mahal kita!
- Gihigugma taka!
- *damn I forgot the fourth word..hahahahaha.
- Te amo!
Then its his turn..
(silence) then he said he doesn’t know any language except their language and tagalog. Hahahahahaha..I convinced him to try. Then me, nagyayabang that I won because I got 5 languages of an I love You word. Teasing him!
We were at Alvin’s car when we were playing that. We were supposed to get out of the car and me still keep on teasing him that he lost the game. He then suddenly stops me and say that he got an answer to it.
But you know what he did? He kissed me on the cheeks, just like at the photos and said, ‘yun ang sagot ko!’ Then I’m loss of words. Clearly I was the one who lose the game. Flang!
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