♥ Last Messages for 2009 ♥

* a posed for Christmas! ♥

These were the replies of my friends and loved ones sa text when I texted them for the last minute text of 2009:

Levi: I know ryt! haha.. i miss r lafing moments too glydie.. karakas kau mangatawa.. we laugh lyk ders no 2mro.. LMAO! Pee new yir! Mwaah..Ü

- she's my ever kalurkee laugh mate sa dance troupe. ♥

Karizza: ..gm un ate glyds? or wrong send ka? hehehe..bt anyways, hapy new yr! xoxo..

- i call her ballerina because she's one freakin' good with ballet.

Beryl: from now on gna col u te glyds! hehe 8z me beryl..

- beryl was my class mate of my 2 majors last sem. welcome to my life beryl!

Lindy: 'sme 2u ging..labyou alws.hapi newyr..wsh 2 c u,miz u mch..

- lindy and I were friends since high school and since then she's very special for me.

Taiza: api new year pud te glaidz! hmuah!

- taiza and I met during our ximbolo production. she happens to be our trainors' new dancer.

Uste: pee new yr pud uste hehe :D stay nlove ah. luvless mn gni ku uste. mm..

- this girl and I met last summer. we were classmate sa chemistry.

Shame: jeje..P nw yr pd ding..lage oi.. dugay ra bya q dha cdo gastay..pwo, la jd ta kbondng.. Miss u too

- shame and I met same with lindy. High School buddies! ♥

Honey: Ur wlcme ding. tnx also 4 d great frndshp. love u

- counting honey to us. (shame and lindy)

Kring2x: Happy new year pud glyd, akng gift glyd imu na gi p2s? ehehe joke ;lng.. msta na glyd? lod nlang u gift nku glyd pra pa unli.

- she's my blockmate and a close friend na pud.

Elro: pee new year pud! Mwah!

- my bebeh koh (not my bf hap) just our endearment. it all started when we watched 'you changed my life'. Bebeh koh was john lloyd and sarah's endearment dba?

Maam Wilgie: Since we hve dancd wd d d sme music. dat cant b change. d ka mgsisi na meet ko nmo. hehehe. hapi new year. 2. luv u.

- maam wilgie was our assistant moderator. very dalaga at heart.

Daryl: ebnin teh glyds! just red ur mssge. elcum! enk u too teh glyds, u'r such a frnd talaga teh glyds. gracias for evrythng! d fun nd d frndshp means lot to me.

- daryl belongs to the third sex gender. Hahahaha..and as I was saying, half of me was a guy. Ü

Hasan: Hapi new year bespren. Miz u!

- aah...bespren.

Jai2x: pee new yr pd glyd! ;) tc owez..nytienyt mwah2x!

- classmate pud..Ü

Nikki: apee 2010 ate glyds! I heart u. Ü

- my manghud sa dt aside kay lil sis nina. ♥

Nolex: Hapi new yr tanan.

- my kabaw friend. Hahahaha..miss you gwapo!

Neil: Happy New Year!

- ahm..funny to say but I met this very weird person in DV when my friends and I are watching this magic show. He asked for my number and the kind I was, I just gave na lang. Crazy!

Kuya Greg: Kapatid hapi new year. Tawag kosa imu ugma or later this afternoon. Tagae ko smart ha. Ala naku globe. I lost it. Mag.buy paku.

- that's what we call for each other. I made an entry about him before.

Julius: Hapi new year too dancer! tc. Ü

- ooooh! My player..hahaha. I knew him 2008 but we get to know each other well late 2009 nah. Hahahaha...i liked this dude.

Nina: Big siz! Ü HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2010 finally came. Hope everythingwould be better nad I hope exciting na year. Ilove you and I really miss you na big siz! Ü

- i love you corinna lago! the ever great daugther of our university registrar. Hahaha...

Clement: Happy new year glai.

- the horny one..peace!

Sir Sai: thnk u pud sa nyo trust....we love u no matter wat.

- the very talented sir sai. I love you sir!

Steph: Happy new year!

- my close friend sa blessed..♥

Kaye: * HAPPY NEW YEAR!

- koreana mate nako. sweet!

Rowell: , api new year. lovelotz. tc'

- I ♥ u dodot!

Abbe: happy new yr!

- i miss you abbe!

Jamela: ate gly :) Happy new year!!

- she's my lab mate in bio and we really clicked then on.

Aimee: Halu ging! misyah! wana grit u...may u hav blessed & prosperous happy new year 2 u and ur fam. Thank u sa frndshp kau sa tnan jd ging! Ur ndeed a frend! hop mgpadaun jpun and wlng mgbgo. tc,always cic. God bless u and ur fam., luv yah! . >",<

- the small but terrible friend of mine. Labyu aim!

Hearty: ,hapi new yr ading! ,Ü

- always be my love hearty friend! ♥

Weng: Happy New Year

- i don't what he meant for me but I appreciate him though.

JM: .manding, hapi hapi newYear, extend my regards 2 ate,kuya,mama,nd papa

- my ice breaker. hahaha..

Thea: te glydz ! happy new year ! Ü mwah. love u ! x) ge lang, mka kwek2 lang ta sumday. thanks ".

- my lovable bunso. I love you too!

Robbie: hppeee new yr te gee!.. Ü I hart u much!. stay pretty,wise and smart!. thanks 4 danicing wid me,roow! hope to dance wid u again..>.<>

- robi gurl..i heart you too! adik sa korean novels. lol.

Kuya-uncle Benjo: Happy new year dear. :) Stay d same cheerful, and bubbly ading..hehe..

- oooh! my ever mahal kung kuya-uncle. His reply touched my heart jud. :'(

* 2009 already ended and I messed up at some point. I hope 2010 will not give me lots of pain and heart aches. Hahaha...meyganun? Kalurkee!

♥ Who said I'm not? ♥

* I just woke up early in the morning with this picture..♥

I know some people are so suck with my attitude and yes I admit it that I have a very messy attitude except to those who would stand to the belief that I am good. It's not really easy to please people and it's not my attitude though to please everyone. I don't like either to act as if I'm this or that though in such I'm a jerk.

Plenty of Insecurities. Who said I haven't? Insecurities with my height, forehead, singing, dancing, teeth, writing. But definitely I'm not insecure with my booby. Damn! I'd rather have this boobs forever than having one like Super G. Ouch! Heavy! Hahaha...

I'm not a good daughter. Who said I'm not? As my mama would say I'm the maldita, papa said I'm the swa-il, ate said I'm the most lazy. O diba? Perfect ingredients! At some point it's an ouch but I don't mind them at all. They were the ones who raised me right? Who's to blame? But I'm not saying my parents are the worst parents of course they're not! I guess environment should we point at these time. Lets put it this way, how can they see my existence if all their minds was my shortcomings? Not fair isn't it? But my parents never raised me to be materialistic. I just love to mix my life with fashion. Fashion in a sense simple but formal.

I'm not a good student. Who said I'm not? Oh well to rate my performance, it was flap! I was once an honor student but then on I was the terrible ex-dean's Lister. I know I can stand on a debate, I can explain the theory of a particular theorist but all those stuffs? I could not just hit it!I'm afraid that people will reject me with my point of view and explanation. Oops! Forgot to say, never faced me with digits. I get choked!

I'm not a good friend. Who said I'm not? Come on people. We can never say we're all a good Samaritan. Of course not! We back bite our friends when he/she does something that irritates our eyes right? Friends are the ones who spices our lives. My friends are all great, to those whom I heartily considered 'friend' and the ones I back bite? You know who you are! And the stupid ones? For all I care! But damn! I care for my friends even the ones who failed me.

I'm a no good dancer. Who said I'm not? Okay, I've been dancing my life since gradeschool. Well with much respect to those who appreciate my dancing before, thank you very much but time goes by and everything changed. Yes..i've been into 3 dance concerts and different competitions but still I count myself as a trainee. To be pro? I don't know! Now I'm still dancing my feet on. I still have the heart and passion for it but I'm losing the sense of trust with my dancemates. Urgh!

I'm a liquor lover. Who said I'm not? Hahahaha...let me just clear people. There's nothing to be ashamed of my part if I drink. I started to drink at the age of 21 so don't get me wrong. It does hurt my pride when they say I'm palahubog because indeed I'm not. I know where and when to messed up. But if getting drunk would people noticed my existence then be it!

Im a no good lover. Who said I'm not? Sounds of bitterness? No..I've been single for almost 5 years now and you know why? Because I'm afraid to lose a part of myself. Teenagers and lovers in this generation are so horny that they were like some dogs in the street. Sorry for the word. There's nothing wrong if they expressed they love through sex but come on, if temptation caught up we can always prevent ourselves from it. Stupid you are blame each other when things went wrong. Getting pregnant and all that stuff. You all losers!

I just couldn't understand others, they know for themselves that they hate certain someone then why still cling to it? I know few people like me and a lot hate me. So why make your way crazy with me? Leave my page or else delete me in your friends list. As simple as that. Everything is in your control, just a press on your keyboard and then your free. Hahai...I'm writing this because of my condition right now and my heart just manipulated my mind. So blame it to them! I felt betrayed and taking forgranted.....who said I'm not? :'(

♥ Happy Holidays! ♥

* that was actually a free greeting of this chocolate pop which kuya gigi bought for me when we were in champs before he leaves for Butuan. ♥

Well, happy-sweet-holiday-season everyone! Though we don't have the perfect noche buena but our hearts was filled oh yummy-delicious love for each other. Christmas though it's not about having the most expensive present you can give or receive but it's all about the love for family and of course God. I love you Lord my original 'Bespren!'.

I'll post a blog soon about the happenings of our celebration..Merry Christmas and spread the love! ♥

♥ Socks for my Present ♥

Yipee! I got a three new pair of socks. Mama bought it yesterday when we we're in Ketkai. I know it's too mababaw for me to act like this, too childish isn't it? Hehehe..funny though! ♥ A new socks for Christmas? I wasn't even told when I us a kid that when you put a sock outside your door, Santa will put a present then at midnight. Even if I was told to, I guess I won't live with it. Hahaha..I'm no conformist you know.

I love my new kitten-inspired socks. Cold breeze at night and dawn? Worry no more because kitty socks is on the go. Hahaha...

OOh! T'was taken last March when we're in Camiguin. I really want to ease at the beach and flaunt my two piece under the heat of a freakin' sun! My body complex and structure for now are too perfect for a beach babe. Whew! Hahahahaha..mey ganun? kaloka!

I'm being narcisstic lately. Hala! ♥

♥ Dumb or Numb? ♥

The bitchy I was on that pic..am I? It's just a sudden product of boredom kanina. I can't think of any stuffs but to polish my nail and color my lips 'Red'. The color of love! Did I state it right? Love? I don't think so..but I was taught by my teacher in grade school that it was the color of 'sacrifice' and 'bravery'.

I sacrificed my happiness and with it, I raised the flag of bravery. ♥

Dumb or Numb? I was the dumb and he was the numb. Jerk!

* goodnight or dawnie? It's passed 2 am and my butt is still chillin'. Bye!

♥ Living my Life! ♥

Hello my blog! Oh I've been idle for weeks bah? I've been busy rehearsing for our shows. The photos you've seen was from all of my latest activities. We had our dance concert, an invitation from "Pilipinas Got Talent', my oh soo lil sistah on the dance troupe's birthday, the yearly event of our school which was the Xavier Days and the raket that I got with the doctors.

XUCDT and STCC: 'XIMBOLO' (Nov. 26-27, 2009)

After all the early morning practices, fare problem, worry no more because the show was all ready through. Every production that we have, what I love most was the rehearsal especially the general run through because it is where I measure my patience towards my dance mates and of course towards myself. The cramming and last minute preparations makes my way a hell one. Ximbolo production, I consider it as my best performance so far as a dance troupe member. It was my first time to experience dance-theater and inviting my parents and seeing them on our show was the best reward ever..

Well, what matters then was the attitude after the show. I know some of my dance mates has this 'lumalaki-ang-ulo-syndrome'. Hmmm..don't like it!

Pilipinas Got Talent: (Nov. 25, 2009)

*laughing...hahahaha. I'm laughing because I can't believe it the hell we were joining with it. Not on our group to join but one of the producer ba yun o ewan ano siya urges us to join and he even reassure us that 70% guarantee that will get into the finals. Roow na dayon!

It's just so nice to recall what we've been through on and before the audition. We practiced at the dance hall with the weather's insanity. Too cold and we slept at around 3 am and woke up by 5 am. Kaloka! I love the camaraderie moments with the PGT Staffs’

Thank you po! In or out man kami, the experience was awesomely great!

*..last Dec. 18, 2009. They texted our trainor saying that we passed the audition and we'll be joining the finals. OMG! Sharon Cuneta will be one of the judges. So? Kulba?

Nina's Birthday: (Nov. 29, 2009)

"I discovered something about myself..I discovered something about the people I trust and whom to trust...." Those lines were the thing I sigh to myself the next day after Nina's birthday. I mean it, I got drunk and too wasted to the extent that I can no longer stand straight and my mind won't work as normally as I used to. It's the first time actually I got so drunk!

That night I set my mind that I'll drink as in talagang inom na parang wala nang bukas but to know who were the persons that I can trust. When liquor conquers my consciousness, I lose my control. I was lying in the sofa when I hear these two buddy (I won't mention name nah) were having a conversation I won't go on with the details but what I hear that night will always linger on my conscious and it was one of the reason why I've been so silent after the party.

Forget the very wake up call sa akin stuffs and hello happy moments. When were on a party it's inevitable that we met common friend of these and that. I met this dude whom I consider as a very thoughtful dude. I just met him but his concerns that night was somehow a whip of remedy from my agonies. He even coined me 'Tinker Bell' (isn't that cute?) now I call him 'Peter Pan'. We didn't just introduced formally but I appreciate his presence. Thank you peter pan where ever you are. ♥

XU Days '09: Engage (Nov. 02, 2009)

This was crazy! We rehearsed the dance for just a day and then voila it's show time. We danced contemporary with a concept of 'Book Dance'. I'm a bit nervous because my system was still adjusting with contemporary. So I have to do it double time.

Well! Well! Well! Bravo! I made it despite the burdens that I have. I was able to chained my fantasy and reality.

Madonna and Polymedic Doctors: (Dec. 1-9, 2009)

I superb love the raket that our choreographer assigned me. I was assigned for the Madonna and Child Maternity Hospital. Two thumbs up to all the doctors who were so accommodating to me and my company. I really like doctor Queenie Quino. She's too kind and very bubbly. I love you all dokie!

The Polymedic doctors were the very maarte and only few are too approachable. Kakabanas! They're just good in complaining as if they were dancers. Urgh!

We performed as well during their christmas party. Sobrang saya! ♥

New Friendship:

Ate Ara is the brother of my bespren. During the rehearsal for our dance concert we don't usually spend time talking things or all that girly stuffs. But after the show, we then clicked! I love her for being a humble and the one I admire when it comes to dance. She's not afraid to be lift up in the air or what which was the soo opposite of me. I wished I was like her. hahahaha..poor me!

Hopefully our friendship grows as what I have with my other dance mates. My lil sistah like her and we do both like her. ♥

* those were the things that had happen and kept me tucked-in with my schedules. Whew! masarap maging busy kung alam mong kelangan mong maging busy kasi may mali na sa paligid mo. :)

♥ Dance Therapy ♥

* I can make it na jud! Good Adding! Good!

On my previous blog I know I was terribly in pain in a sense that I kept on drinking liquor as a source of comfort. My mind could not just clear it's mind to the extent that I just want to runaway like a criminal who have done a biggest offense in life. I wrote before that this week I'll decide about my dilemma but it seems that I don't need a miracle to save me now.

The incident yesterday opened my eyes that I have to deal with it, along with Kuya Gigi's realization that it's my fault in the first place. I know naman that I felt something for him but I chose to doubt myself which push me to doubt him. Not good! If he really feels something special for the girl? Then I'll go for it. I know I'm not totally on the end part of my dilemma but I'm coping now. If we're really meant to be good 'Besprens' then let it be.

Last November 12, 2009 we had a guesting at Pamahaw Espesyal and then another one tomorrow. I love it! We only have one week to set everything for our show. Be with us Lord and be with me always. I owe where I am now. I love you Lord!

Thank you dance for inspiring me to enjoy my life and thank you blog for recording my thoughts.

♥ Healing Process ♥

Moving on and accepting things was never that easy especially if the person behind your pain was with you everyday. Of course the hope is there, hoping that he'll realize this and that but with my part right now he was very unpredictable. Imagine, he'll just mention the name of the girl it almost shattered my world and would just want to cry and runaway.

I'm rehearsing physically but my heart is rehearsing on the other way around. It was rehearsing the steps of healing. The last time I had this kind of burden was 2005 and it was Awen whom I have been crying for. It took me 4 years to accept and move on from that fall. With that I experience, I take it as my motivation to go on with life this time. What's harder now is that I'm with the person physically both parties but with Awen were apart.

Just like the instances kanina, he was talking then suddenly he mentioned the name of the girl. :'( Hahai..teary eyed again. :( I still have this week to decide actually from this. I'm just waiting for kuya Gigi to be here.

Know what I did since I got into this? I just keep on sending group messages living my friends a huge'?' on their minds. They were asking me what's wrong but I'm still keeping myself fine and that nothing was wrong. The guy asked me if what's really the problem. All I answered was 'I know I'm not okay. For as long I can handle the situation I'll handle it by myself and if not you know naman you're one of the people I'll rely with'. See how strong I am to say that I can handle it by myself well in fact I'm struggling and ripping.

These are my GM these past days:

(Nov. 08, 2009)

"Just because I'm miserable it doesn't mean that I can't enjoy my life..."

: it's just that all this time the things that I used to 'Believe' was a huge 'LIE"!

: Rainy day on Sunday!

"I'd rather hear the truth than hurt me with a lie.."

: flap! :'( whew! Maybe I resolved to conduct a general cleaningwith this painful mess. :( Blog I need you!

: blogging aftie..

(Nov. 08, 2009)

"A friendship that has been built by trust..will it be ended by a lie?"

: how dare you betray me self? Kita na lang gani ang magkakampi, ilalaglag mo pa ako. :( Umayos ka.

: thanks for your comfort..you know who you are. *Elro, Clement and Wewen...

: Nanait! Excited for tomorrow! *because of Elro!

(Nov. 09, 2009)

: home at last! Thank God I survived this day!

: evening!

(Nov. 10, 2009)

"Nobody loses by daring but may lose while waiting for the right moment.."
: ahm..tama pud!

: mornytz!

(Nov. 10, 2009)

"There is always a right moment to stop something..."
: still don't know if it's the right moment now..observe2x. Undecided me! Save me!

: calm morning!

* yan ang mga lakurkee kung GM..sa araw-araw na ginawa nang Diyos isa lang talaga ang dasal ko na sana kayanin ko anumang meron sa araw-araw.

The healing process for me now is too critical but I'm trying to be fine and hopefully soon enough I can get there.

♥ Happy Birthday Kuya Gigi! ♥

Here was my message kay Kuya Gi on his birthday. I sent it through message on Facebook:

"Hi kuya Gi! Hapi Burtdei! I had a comment diba in one of your friends post nga mag make ko og birthday speech sa imo. So here it is...
Ahm..where will I start? Charlang! Who would ever thought in this world na mag ka amigo tah kuya? I mean sharing of stuffs and all. Sa Talisayan kuya we are just like passers na would not even care to say 'hi' or 'hello' to each other. Not until the Davao experience. Remember when I'm so wasted the last night nato sa Davao? I don't know what pushed you to listen from all of my so-called childish agony.(ulaw) Hahahaha...:P. So super thank you kau kuya. Then on we had a good communication and accepted na by pamet you calling me a 'salikat' coz you know I'm not. Hahahaha...but after that incident (davao) it is where I appreciate your presence. I appreciate your kindness. I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I appreciate you kuya Gi. Thank you kayo kuya Gi for your time for listening *again sa akong mga childish dilemma.
Bumalik ka na kasi my counselor! Hahahaha...bitaw kuya Gi.
Still have a lot of things to share. (if you're interested to know) :D Kaya I'll charge na my emotions *sniffs* para when you're here na I'm strong enough to share then. Charlang!
Happy burtdei again kuya! More beers. More Girls? (counted ba?) Hehehe...you're XUCDT and Saiyawi family misses you nah. We love you kuya Gi."

Kuya Gi has been a good comforter. Everyone loves him. I miss my counselor. My sumbungan. Love you Kuya Gi! :*

♥ Cry Me a River ♥

I don't have to say it. I just to have write. It was painful enough and now writing bores my heart into tears. Whew! I hate myself for feeling this way. Why I have to feel this? Why she's getting on my way?! Reading those stuffs, seeing some action, creating on a doubt of friendship. Damn it!

Now tell me? Am I still trusting the right persons? Lord the heck was happening? I treated them well and welcome them with the right attitude but why make things mess up? Betrayed or just me myself denying the real thing? I'm not saying in love (di naman talaga) I just don't want to lose the person whom I treated as a 'Bespren'. Well then, I take things seriously though it should not be that way.

That 'girl' is such a crap! Why she used to get what use to be mine? What the hell is wrong with you? Live a life! Leave my close friends alone! I don't want to be mad at you but you're pissing my damn ass off! Have a shame girl! Are you that desperate? Oh well thanks to you anyways because if not with my anger towards you, a friend and me won't fixed things to which it where belong..

* Give me time to fixed this...ma text nga yung kaibigan. (5 hours or so after..)

I'm a bit calm now (jealous?).Well he did say he like the girl but still trying to know her. On the other hand, he was afraid to know the real side of me and what he meant for me. And all I can say is.....

"...I know what you mean to me but all i have for now to say is that I don't want to lose you because I need you to be there for me always."

:'(

♥ Broken Hearted Me ♥

* Alone + Lonely= Alonly! :D Not really...I don't know lately but he used to crossed my mind. 4 years ago I was in pain and fret like a child. Now? I'm no longer in pain but I'm anticipating because I only have 2 years to gain my freedom from 4 years of agony.

* I love this song talaga..I all love the songs of Anne Murray:

Every now and then I cry
Every night you keep stayin' on my mind
All my friends say I'll survive
It just takes time

Chorus:

But I don't think time is gonna heal this broken heart
No I don't see how it can if it's broken all apart
A million miracles could never stop the pain
Or put all the pieces together again
No I don't think time is gonna heal this broken heart
No I don't see how it can while we are still apart
And when you hear this song
I hope that you will see
That time won't heal a broken-hearted me

Every day is just the same
Playing' games, different lovers, different names
They keep saying' I'll survive
It just takes time

Time won't heal a broken-hearted me

♥ Veritas Liberabit Vos (truth shall set you free) ♥

I had a great time talking with Patty over the phone last night. Patty is a friend with a God given talent of humor. Oh! Let's just say that Patty belongs to what we call a 'third sex'. Hahahaha.. Bayot ba? Well, I miss that friend talaga. He/she makes me laugh everytime we had a conversation. He was my movie buddy as well.

Anyways, that night when we talked. I had a lot of realizations. A week ago he had this wall post on facebook stating that 'It was so refreshing to tell the truth!' I asked him who's the particular person he was pointing out on that post. He said that it was nothing. That its just his mind boggling him with some non-sense. Then later on he said that being at peace with someone whom you have a conflict with for a long time and if you would just let time heal all your wounds. At the end, everything will take place on it's own without asking why it happened, what causes the gap. Things like that.

It is indeed refreshing to tell the truth. It may be a painful truth, a joyous truth, a tearful truth. One of the fears that I have is knowing the truth. But I always want to tell the truth. I'm dealing with a person right now whom I'm scared to know the truth about us. A person whom I can't figure out how to spell the 'T-R-U-T-H' about us. A person whom the two of us can't find the courage to explain the truth why we falter at the end. A person whom I told the truth but told me a 'lie'?

Ganyan lang talaga ang buhay. If it's really in your heart to tell something true with an open heart to face the consequences then go on! Its all about winning and losing. The truth will set you free!

♥ Tuesdays with Morrie ♥

Have you tried watching a flick that burst you out into tears because of the flick's storyline? Oh dude! Swear! 'Tuesdays with Morrie' filled my eyes with tears from the start till the end. It was so insane that I was crying in front of my monitor. It hurts..really! It hurts to see Morrie especially when he mourns at midnight. I love the part where he changed Mitch perspective about time and life.

Truly indeed the movie reminds us of our parents and our grandparents, about life in living with our regrets and pride,money, time. Everything that we faced on our daily lives. I was moved actually. Different realizations and understanding crossed my mind.

I urge my sister to watch the flick and warned her about it cause it will torn her heart talaga. Hahaha..she said she had no time from all my insanity. But then she watched it and not even have the courage to finish it. She can't take to see Morrie with his illness.

Let's be grateful actually and cherish the moments with our loved ones. Thank you Lord for still keeping me up and for putting my heart at peace. To God be the Glory! If you haven't seen this flick, then better watch it now.

♥ Facebook, thoughts and everything! ♥

Okei..got nothing else to do right now but to stare at the monitor and glance at my Biology Lab Manual. I'll just right anything that will cross my mind at these moment.

• I'm playing Pet Society on Facebook and I'm loving my pet more everyday!
• Checking on my previous exam results and it sucked!
• Got a message from Ricky and Desiree..
• "Kapoi jud mag study pero lain man pud kung di mag skwela!"
• Ricky send me again a message..whew!
  
• Just posted a wall on Facebook...
• Ricky Dicky again sent me a message...
• Oh..I'm thinking if Kuya Erikoy will buy me my fave hand sanitizer.
• Nico and I's clarification tomorrow?
• I'm not in love, I'm just inspired!
• ♫..now I know love exist..cause your standing rihg next to me...♫♪
• visiting friends on Facebook..
• Trying to play a new game on Facebook..Country Story!
  
• Got a message from Kuya Gege..
• Urgh! I can't relate to Country Story!
• I need to rest na cause even if I spent an hour or so. My brain won't function though.
• Huhuhu...I don't want to fail sa Biology. Lord help me.

I'm sleepy na jud...goodnight blogspot! I need to be prisoned in the library tomorrow morning to be sentenced with dying-nose-bleeding-words of Biology. Please guide me Lord as I take my final exam in Biology 32. :'(

♥ Twin Victory! ♥

History repeats itself! (I should say) Since the opening of the season, I was in great hopes that the Blue Eagles will have a back-to-back championship and it was! I was not active this season actually unlike the previous years that I would not attend class just to wathced their games, I mean I haven't watched their games consecutively. As to sort things, I saw their game this season only ones and not even finishing the quarter. Before I say my thoughts and my super tremendous emotion for their victory let me share to you what happen to me that afternoon.

Really I did not witnessed the action. I was in school, particularly at the dance troupe office. We we're watching Titanic. The night before the championship I prayed and told myself that whatever the outcomes tomorrow, I'll accept it.(base on UE's performance last Sunday) Now, while watching the movie. There was this part wherein Rose will throw that diamond necklace and she was holding it with her palm close. I told myself that if the color would be green then Ateneo won't be the champion.

My heart was racing out. The moment she opened it. I was so shocked to see that the necklace was color blue. Oh damn! How could it be? What does it mean? I did not take it as a sign in the first place but it was. My friend keep on texting and updating me about the game. I had an exam that day. So i left my other phone to my dance mate so that I can focus my mind with my exam and not to the game.

After taking my so nose bleeding, brain draining biology exam. I open my phone reading on my friend's message saying that she can feels a championship in favor for Ateneo. I currently rushed to the dance hall and to think it was 6th floor but i never felt tired or what. The only thing that's on my mind was "...was thank you Lord..thank you Lord..".

The whole evening during our dance rehearsal, my mask had a big smile. A dancemate even said 'masaya ka nga talaga..abot langit ang ngiti mo.' Hahahaha....yeah right!

Woohoo! Kudos again to you Blue Eagles and Eaglets! That's what you call a Twin Victory. I could not ask for more this year because of it. Masaya na naman ang isang buong taon ko. Next year, I won't assume for a back-to-back-to-back title but if it's meant to be that way then to God be the Glory! Ang sarap talaga maging Atenista!

*...last year my friends and I have our own version of bonfire. Suppose to be we sholud have it yesterday but for some reasons we postponed it. Hahai...Go Ateneo!

Tagubilin at Habilin by Jose F. Lacaba

I want to share with you a poem written by Jose F. Lacaba.

The poem was so nice because it's really the reality within us.

Here...understand and learn from it....

Tagubilin at Habilin by Jose F. Lacaba

Mabuhay ka, kaibigan!
Mabuhay ka!
Iyan ang una’t huli kong
Tagubilin at habilin:
Mabuhay ka!

Sa edad kong ito, marami akong maibibigay na payo.
Mayaman ako sa payo.

Maghugas ka ng kamay bago kumain.
Maghugas ka ng kamay pagkatapos kumain.
Pero huwag kang maghuhugas ng kamay para lang makaiwas sa sisi.
Huwag kang maghuhugas ng kamay kung may inaapi
Na kaya mong tulungan.

Paupuin sa bus ang matatanda at ang mga may kalong na sanggol.
Magpasalamat sa nagmamagandang-loob.
Matuto sa karanasan ng matatanda
Pero huwag magpatali sa kaisipang makaluma.

Huwag piliting matulog kung ayaw kang dalawin ng antok.
Huwag pag-aksayahan ng panahon ang walang utang na loob.
Huwag makipagtalo sa bobo at baka ka mapagkamalang bobo.
Huwag bubulong-bulong sa mga panahong kailangang sumigaw.

Huwag kang manalig sa bulung-bulungan.
Huwag kang papatay-patay sa ilalim ng pabitin.
Huwag kang tutulog-tulog sa pansitan.

Umawit ka kung nag-iisa sa banyo.
Umawit ka sa piling ng barkada.
Umawit ka kung nalulungkot.
Umawit ka kung masaya.

Ingat lang.

Huwag kang aawit ng “My Way” sa videoke bar at baka ka mabaril.
Huwag kang magsindi ng sigarilyo sa gasolinahan.
Dahan-dahan sa matatarik na landas.
Dahan-dahan sa malulubak na daan.

Higit sa lahat, inuulit ko:

Mabuhay ka, kaibigan!
Mabuhay ka!
Iyan ang una’t huli kong
Tagubilin at habilin:
Mabuhay ka!

Maraming bagay sa mundo na nakakadismaya.
Mabuhay ka.
Maraming problema ang mundo na wala na yatang lunas.
Mabuhay ka.

Sa hirap ng panahon, sa harap ng kabiguan,
Kung minsan ay gusto mo nang mamatay.
Gusto mong maglaslas ng pulso kung sawi sa pag-ibig.
Gusto mong uminom ng lason kung wala nang makain.
Gusto mong magbigti kung napakabigat ng mga pasanin.
Gusto mong pasabugin ang bungo mo kung maraming gumugulo sa utak.

Huwag kang patatalo. Huwag kang susuko.

Narinig mo ang sinasabi ng awitin:
“Gising at magbangon sa pagkagupiling,
Sa pagkakatulog na lubhang mahimbing.”
Gumising ka kung hinaharana ka ng pag-ibig.
Bumangon ka kung nananawagan ang kapuspalad.

Ang sabi ng iba: “Ang matapang ay walang-takot lumaban.”
Ang sabi ko naman: Ang tunay na matapang ay lumalaban
Kahit natatakot.

Lumaban ka kung inginungodngod ang nguso mo sa putik.
Bumalikwas ka kung tinatapak-tapakan ka.
Buong-tapang mong ipaglaban ang iyong mga prinsipyo
Kahit hindi ka sigurado na agad-agad kang mananalo.

Mabuhay ka, kaibigan!
Mabuhay ka!
Iyan ang una’t huli kong
Tagubilin at habilin:
Mabuhay ka!

...nakaka struck yung poem..hindi ba?...

♥ Capsule of Peace ♥

I'm not sick when I did it, I'm not even drunk when I did it. I don't know what leads me last Wednesday to have the initiative to approach him. Really that person have been special to me but as we have it, certain point in our lives we have this confusion and me personally was such a 'sumhanon' type.

We're not okay actually the moment we leave for Davao and it even get worst right after Davao. Some may deny it that their pride takes them but in our case I really let my pride get in the way. I know my pride will give me the space to renew and rethink the events around me.

Enough of this..I'm glad we're okay now. You know who you are. I'm not assuming that we can still treat each other the way we have it before. I don't have plans either to bridge the gap between us. Maybe God was the one who gave me the capsule of peace. Thank you Lord for the courage and for understanding me those times that I was confused and hesitant. You know me Lord and you know the plans that I have for the future.

♥ It's Him! ♥

" I passed by beside the gym and saw this great cager who was so good with hoops and the one that I've been dying to meet. I tried to smile but he just stared at me. Besides I'm just an Atenean girl who only knows great dance steps while his this star player and he'll never admire a girl like me. "

* that pic was taken actually after their championship game against XU. Thanks to Ate Janet (wife of their assistant coach), for somehow putting my fantasy into a reality. hehe..just a fan who admires an idol.

*..I was captivated actually from the way he plays and damn, I can't cope with this right now.

♥ Extreme Happiness ♥

"...my super friend, Sheena Ortillo!"

My heart right now is oh so filled with happiness. I know I felt this since last Saturday and up to this day. Last week I was faced with much trouble and problems but along the way, time gave me the strength to hold on and win back myself. Now, I'm going to write the reasons of this extreme happiness.

♥ Peace on Earth! ♥

It's because after the so-called misunderstanding that leads to a major trouble, my dance mates and I are so fine now. It's just that now we're bridging the gap and I know we're getting there. I love you pa rin despite the faults that we have. You'll always be my younger brother and sisters. I love you!

♥ Super Friend ♥

Who can forget a friend who's been a huge part of your life? Sheena and I were batch mates during our elementary years. We used to be so kikay and we even compete with each other regarding the latest trends and etc., Hahaha..it does amazed me last sunday when I saw her along with the impression na 'oh damn! Siya ba talaga to?' We'd actually lost our communication after our graduation and it's been 10 years we haven't seen each other. Now, thank God for the cyberspace commonly known as 'Friendster'. Through friendster I found her and I owe it sobra sa on-line world.

♥ Value of Friendship ♥

Never ever would I thought that the people whom I hated before are the ones whom I love now. I admit I did close my heart of welcoming those people for some childish reasons and for the pride as well. But there are the ones who opened my eyes and touched my heart. They proved it to me when I chose not to show up for a week on the dance troupe. I've seen their concerns and longingness to have me back. Thank you sa inyo, sobrang I can't afford to lose you nah.

♥ Coach to Coast ♥

O diba? Hahahahaha...I was 'buang' as they say over this assistant coach on our school team. Super I was having that high-school-crush-phenomenon whenever I see him on the campus. That coach rin was my cousin's mentor, akalain niyo ba naman we had a chit-chat moment last wednesday. O diba? haba nang hair ko teh! Along with the parang asking our moderator na ewan ko ba. Naughty smile pa jud xa yotch! hai..makasala man sad tah, salikat lyt! Ahw!

...one more thing that I appreciate a lot. You don't have to be in a relationship just to attain such satisfaction or happiness like a boyfriend could do. Roow na daun! Just like my super friend, she doesn't have a boyfriend since birth but she's happy right? Naku kayo jan, stop trying yourself to save a relationship well in fact it's your fight alone na lang and no longer a couple's fight. Tsk!

♥ ooppps! Masaya lang! ♥

: I really love this pic, not just because the kid is wearing an 'Ateneo' jersey but because I love kiddos. How I really wish i was a kid then. Hehehehe...just love their carefree nature.

: my heart is filled with joy lang talaga, masaya lang talaga ako with no further reasons. I'm just glad feeling this way because it's been weeks that I'm not healthy emotionally. But thank God I'm okay now. That's the way life goes...pain? Move on! Happy? Take it on!

..then I'm taking it on!

♥ Boombells lang jud ka ♥

* this was my entry on facebook and multiply. I'm actually, i'm just get thrilled with the comments of my friends about this. So there comment as well was on the last part of this post.

I guess it's really clear to those who are a cyber-oriented person the meaning of 'Blog'. Okay except to those who are a narrow minded creature. I understand!
Writing is my way of expressing all my upbringings. I can throw away all my emotions here and why not? Democracy Country. Freedom of Expression. Galit ako kaya magsusulat ako. Masaya ako kaya magsusulat ako. Nasaktan ako kaya magsusulat ako. What's the big deal then? Boombells!

If someone is reacting from all my write ups, either way they are affected or they are amazed.But then folks, once i wrote it, i will never regret it. Boombells ka talaga!

"I know there's someone out there who's just too paranoid to react about my blog in one of my online account. I pity you little creature, ahm?, hello my entry is not a nuclear bomb that when someone will read it, it will explode automatically right in front of their monitors. Why be so affected? Boombells!"

All I know for now, I'm writing this because I'm glad, i'm inspired, grateful, thankful. Basta I'm oh so full of emotions right now. O ano? Do i have to tell the reasons behind those emotions pa ba? Baka nagiging praning ka na naman jan.Huwag ka mag malinis na hindi ikaw ang nag pasimuno, kilala nakita.Pa counsel ka kaya? Not with me because if you were my patient i would recommend you to other psychologist sakit ka lang sa ulo. Kung sabagay di naman ganun ka lawak pag-iisip mo. I guess your mind is just full of 'rhizopus', are you familiar with it? Oh sorry..try to search na lang. Boombells!

Hahai..whatever i say. I'll shut na my mouth because I know that I'm already okay but never hit me again ha? Huwag niyo na diligan yung bulaklak baka sa sobrang pamumukadkad, mapitas ko pa. Basta your'e so pathethic. Boombells!

* but don't print my write ups! I did give you the freedom to read it but not to print it. Private pa rin siya and it's' mine'. Boombells!

Comment 101:

Danwel: Yah ding I understand your point, but always remember, freedom has its limitation.

- dani..yah freedom has it's limitations but not all has it's schema of limitations when their emotions fill them up.

Aura: hihihi, i guess its safe dat way ding,...shut our mouth nlng jd, n act as if we dont care nlng,.

- yes xau..exactly! if ma gets niya kinsa xa, pak2x daghan jud ko kai di dai xa in.ana ka boombells!

Thea: **controversial lamang :))

- bunso? done reading my blog on my 'multiply'? wee!

Bhing: intriga ko ani.. may i know this pokemon?

- Bhing, sige lang u'll know soon enuf things will be fix nah. miss you sa dt bhing.

Dani: Correct jud ding!!!

Guene: ding ding ding ?? knsa nii??? i pm sa akO beeh, dli nka ga cheka miss u naaah :c