Moving on and accepting things was never that easy especially if the person behind your pain was with you everyday. Of course the hope is there, hoping that he'll realize this and that but with my part right now he was very unpredictable. Imagine, he'll just mention the name of the girl it almost shattered my world and would just want to cry and runaway.
I'm rehearsing physically but my heart is rehearsing on the other way around. It was rehearsing the steps of healing. The last time I had this kind of burden was 2005 and it was Awen whom I have been crying for. It took me 4 years to accept and move on from that fall. With that I experience, I take it as my motivation to go on with life this time. What's harder now is that I'm with the person physically both parties but with Awen were apart.
Just like the instances kanina, he was talking then suddenly he mentioned the name of the girl.
:'( Hahai..teary eyed again.
:( I still have this week to decide actually from this. I'm just waiting for kuya Gigi to be here.
Know what I did since I got into this? I just keep on sending group messages living my friends a huge'?' on their minds. They were asking me what's wrong but I'm still keeping myself fine and that nothing was wrong. The guy asked me if what's really the problem. All I answered was 'I know I'm not okay. For as long I can handle the situation I'll handle it by myself and if not you know naman you're one of the people I'll rely with'. See how strong I am to say that I can handle it by myself well in fact I'm struggling and ripping.
These are my GM these past days:
(Nov. 08, 2009) "Just because I'm miserable it doesn't mean that I can't enjoy my life...": it's just that all this time the things that I used to 'Believe' was a huge 'LIE"!
: Rainy day on Sunday!
"I'd rather hear the truth than hurt me with a lie..": flap!
:'( whew! Maybe I resolved to conduct a general cleaningwith this painful mess.
:( Blog I need you!
: blogging aftie..
(Nov. 08, 2009)"A friendship that has been built by trust..will it be ended by a lie?": how dare you betray me self? Kita na lang gani ang magkakampi, ilalaglag mo pa ako.
:( Umayos ka.
: thanks for your comfort..you know who you are. *Elro, Clement and Wewen...
: Nanait! Excited for tomorrow! *because of Elro!
(Nov. 09, 2009) : home at last! Thank God I survived this day!
: evening!
(Nov. 10, 2009)"Nobody loses by daring but may lose while waiting for the right moment..": ahm..tama pud!
: mornytz!
(Nov. 10, 2009)"There is always a right moment to stop something...": still don't know if it's the right moment now..observe2x. Undecided me! Save me!
: calm morning!
* yan ang mga lakurkee kung GM..sa araw-araw na ginawa nang Diyos isa lang talaga ang dasal ko na sana kayanin ko anumang meron sa araw-araw.
The healing process for me now is too critical but I'm trying to be fine and hopefully soon enough I can get there.
