Ok, due to the health of his grandmother..they leave last night for Baloi to spend the last minute of his grandmother. I was so stunned when he went up on me to say they were leaving. A news that I so much hate! How sad for his lola but death is inevitable.
We were texting then til 11 am becuase he asked me to sleep na and so I did. By around 1 am I woke up and I checked my fon, I replied to his message..
Amer: Miz u.. :(
Me: :’(
Amer: smile lang tah para safe..
Me: ganun na nga..wag nating hayaan manalo ang lungkot sa oras nato. Sakit sa hart!
Amer: pls, don’t reply hap? :( Mamimiz kita higit. Hap? Sleep na..pls?
Me: mas gusto ko mag reply, sori? Labyu mahal ko. Smile na tau. C’mon na! iiyak bb mu pag di ka mag smile.
Amer: :( labyu!
Me: hehehe.. opo. Kinilig tuloy aq. Mahal lang talaga kita Amer. :D
Amer: hahahaha..labyu mahal ko. Pasaway! Nah sleep na hap?
Me: labyu..labyu..labyu..
Amer: nah! Di ko mapigil maka reply nito..Cge nah bb hap? Don’t repz..pls naman?
Right now, I don’t want to recognize the sad feelings because it won’t do me any good. He was hoping to bring me with him last night but the happenings were to fast that the two of us can’t even think of what the right thing to do. I wasn’t even able to hug him.
Just take care of your self there mahal ko and spend time with your loving lola.
September 24, 2010
Priceless Happiness! ♥
Today, I woke up with a very-not-so-happy-heart. Yes, I admit my paranoid mind touches my jealous heart these past days. Which I rarely felt in-spite of my me-myself-and-I attitude (human nature).
But later this afternoon, I felt an ease and joy that I wished to feel everyday but life is a constant change indeed and deal with it!
I would be hypocrite if I say not even half of my happiness was not a product of him. No! Because I would absolutely say, he is one of my priceless happiness everyday. He was like my daily supplement of happy vitamins.
I’m not saying this because I was in the state of love but with all honesty? I’m saying this because this is the reality within me. Every second, minute, hours, days that I am with him was like a renewal of self. A ray of hope and faith.
The way we discuss things out of our feelings teaches me to be open minded which I am struggling with because I was not perhaps. I always put myself into one dimension that I found myself suffocated on my own little bubble. When we discuss such issues (especially on me), he never embarks or never put into consideration that I am her special someone and so he have to take my side on this. No! If he knew I was faced with controversial issues primarily on my group, he guides me always. He’s my compass to come up with a proper decision making.
It hurts on my part though when he says ‘May ka-away ka? Sinu na naman ka-away mo?’, really it hurts because he was like accusing me that I am a trouble-maker. But he taught me to be open-minded and he knows I’m not. Though he admits that I am ‘maldita’. It goes to show that I am not perfect, just a vulnerable human being but he sees me almost close to perfection.
The priceless happiness there? When my family finally sees his good heart. Papa said when we are having a worship, Amer was right daw. Every human has its shadow but that shadow can only be moved by you. I was even touched on how my mom treats Amer now. Yes, my mom and I has been to a tug-of-war situation because of our relationship (Amer). During those times, my heart was coated with anger and grudges, not knowing the real feelings of Amer during those times. I even cried in-front of him about it, begging him to say what he felt but the only thing he said? ‘Masyado mo kasing dinidibdib ang lahat ng bagay, magiging ok din to at okay lang ako. Ikaw lang ang iniisip ko..’
God it breaks my heart! But he was right, we just let things fall to its proper places and here we are now. We have a healthy relationship with our parents and both parties! I know Amer is not so good in comprehending my skills such as this but his understanding to the reality around him makes me say ‘I wish half of his thinking can be inherited by me..’, if not let our kids be! :)
T’was really made my day filled with a priceless happiness. Thank you Lord for sharing him on me. We just owe everything to you to where we are now.
Before we bid goodnight to each other, I was so touched the moment that he hugged me and say.. I miss you! I don’t know why it just made me feel so special or I guess I’ve waited for these past days for him to say it.
But later this afternoon, I felt an ease and joy that I wished to feel everyday but life is a constant change indeed and deal with it!
I would be hypocrite if I say not even half of my happiness was not a product of him. No! Because I would absolutely say, he is one of my priceless happiness everyday. He was like my daily supplement of happy vitamins.
I’m not saying this because I was in the state of love but with all honesty? I’m saying this because this is the reality within me. Every second, minute, hours, days that I am with him was like a renewal of self. A ray of hope and faith.
The way we discuss things out of our feelings teaches me to be open minded which I am struggling with because I was not perhaps. I always put myself into one dimension that I found myself suffocated on my own little bubble. When we discuss such issues (especially on me), he never embarks or never put into consideration that I am her special someone and so he have to take my side on this. No! If he knew I was faced with controversial issues primarily on my group, he guides me always. He’s my compass to come up with a proper decision making.
It hurts on my part though when he says ‘May ka-away ka? Sinu na naman ka-away mo?’, really it hurts because he was like accusing me that I am a trouble-maker. But he taught me to be open-minded and he knows I’m not. Though he admits that I am ‘maldita’. It goes to show that I am not perfect, just a vulnerable human being but he sees me almost close to perfection.
The priceless happiness there? When my family finally sees his good heart. Papa said when we are having a worship, Amer was right daw. Every human has its shadow but that shadow can only be moved by you. I was even touched on how my mom treats Amer now. Yes, my mom and I has been to a tug-of-war situation because of our relationship (Amer). During those times, my heart was coated with anger and grudges, not knowing the real feelings of Amer during those times. I even cried in-front of him about it, begging him to say what he felt but the only thing he said? ‘Masyado mo kasing dinidibdib ang lahat ng bagay, magiging ok din to at okay lang ako. Ikaw lang ang iniisip ko..’
God it breaks my heart! But he was right, we just let things fall to its proper places and here we are now. We have a healthy relationship with our parents and both parties! I know Amer is not so good in comprehending my skills such as this but his understanding to the reality around him makes me say ‘I wish half of his thinking can be inherited by me..’, if not let our kids be! :)
T’was really made my day filled with a priceless happiness. Thank you Lord for sharing him on me. We just owe everything to you to where we are now.
Before we bid goodnight to each other, I was so touched the moment that he hugged me and say.. I miss you! I don’t know why it just made me feel so special or I guess I’ve waited for these past days for him to say it.
Oldies But Goodies! ♥
God knows I prayed for someone..
Who will say… “You are beautiful!”.
Who will say… “Sex can wait!”.
Whom I’m not afraid to cry in-front of him.
Who will hold my hand for no apparent reason.
Who will hug me when I’m sad and for no reason at all.
Who will stare at me just because he can’t take his eyes off on me.
Who will wait for me outside just to see me.
Who will cuddle me like a baby.
…and God answered my prayer as you all know. It was him who welcomed my fantasy into reality. It was him who win me back from my saddest misery. It was him who build great friendship outside the relationship. It was him who would rather give up the argument just because he wants to give me a sweet dreams. It was him who loves to listen to my unfulfilled dreams.
Now I want him…
To see in bed when I wake up every morning.
To be my last companion every night.
To be the father of my future children.
To be the grandfather of our grandchildren.
To be the man whom I’ll give the word “I do!”
..yesterday we celebrated another month of friendship and love. We’re still in-love just like yesterday! It was simple but the very special celebration that we have so far. We just had a walk to the beach. Spent the whole afternoon and evening at the beach laughing, giggling, teasing, cuddling…all the lovers happiness! Looking at him, holding each others hands makes me say, ‘I want to spend the rest of my life with you Amer..’
I hope our endearment Lolo-Lola will absolutely give as the ticket to a lifetime happiness. I want to sit with him on a hammock (just as the picture shows), while talking to our grandchildren the tale of our love-story.
Thank you Lord for guiding us as always. For guiding us with Love and Respect for each other and hope to be the oldies but goodies just as the photos up there.
Who will say… “You are beautiful!”.
Who will say… “Sex can wait!”.
Whom I’m not afraid to cry in-front of him.
Who will hold my hand for no apparent reason.
Who will hug me when I’m sad and for no reason at all.
Who will stare at me just because he can’t take his eyes off on me.
Who will wait for me outside just to see me.
Who will cuddle me like a baby.
…and God answered my prayer as you all know. It was him who welcomed my fantasy into reality. It was him who win me back from my saddest misery. It was him who build great friendship outside the relationship. It was him who would rather give up the argument just because he wants to give me a sweet dreams. It was him who loves to listen to my unfulfilled dreams.
Now I want him…
To see in bed when I wake up every morning.
To be my last companion every night.
To be the father of my future children.
To be the grandfather of our grandchildren.
To be the man whom I’ll give the word “I do!”
..yesterday we celebrated another month of friendship and love. We’re still in-love just like yesterday! It was simple but the very special celebration that we have so far. We just had a walk to the beach. Spent the whole afternoon and evening at the beach laughing, giggling, teasing, cuddling…all the lovers happiness! Looking at him, holding each others hands makes me say, ‘I want to spend the rest of my life with you Amer..’
I hope our endearment Lolo-Lola will absolutely give as the ticket to a lifetime happiness. I want to sit with him on a hammock (just as the picture shows), while talking to our grandchildren the tale of our love-story.
Thank you Lord for guiding us as always. For guiding us with Love and Respect for each other and hope to be the oldies but goodies just as the photos up there.
I Love It! ♥
I love it…when he texts me ‘labyu bb!’ even if I’m just next to him.
I love it…when he says ‘Mataid!’ though I felt most of the time I’m not.
I love it..when he held me close in his arms and say ‘Ang bango mo!’ even if I did not take a bath yet.
I love it…when he pinches my armpit and say ‘Gusto ko yung kili-kili mo!’ though it’s so weird.
I love it…when he jokes about my get-ups even if it means ‘I hate seeing you wearing that!’
I love it…when he says ‘Time to sleep na bb..tabi ako hap?’ even if he didn’t slept beside me at all.
I love it…when he leaves a note on my phone and it would just snooze, to see it was just his note reminding me how much he loves me.
I love it…when says ‘Sorry!’ even if t’was my fault.
I love it…when he said ‘Uyab baya kita, kung may probs ka problema ko rin!’
I love it…when he hugs me in times that I’m not ok and say ‘Ok lang yan bb, labyu!’
I just love it…when he just hold my hand and would not say anything.
and then I’ll say…‘I love it when I say, I love you Amer!’ ♥
I love it…when he says ‘Mataid!’ though I felt most of the time I’m not.
I love it..when he held me close in his arms and say ‘Ang bango mo!’ even if I did not take a bath yet.
I love it…when he pinches my armpit and say ‘Gusto ko yung kili-kili mo!’ though it’s so weird.
I love it…when he jokes about my get-ups even if it means ‘I hate seeing you wearing that!’
I love it…when he says ‘Time to sleep na bb..tabi ako hap?’ even if he didn’t slept beside me at all.
I love it…when he leaves a note on my phone and it would just snooze, to see it was just his note reminding me how much he loves me.
I love it…when says ‘Sorry!’ even if t’was my fault.
I love it…when he said ‘Uyab baya kita, kung may probs ka problema ko rin!’
I love it…when he hugs me in times that I’m not ok and say ‘Ok lang yan bb, labyu!’
I just love it…when he just hold my hand and would not say anything.
and then I’ll say…‘I love it when I say, I love you Amer!’ ♥
Today, Amer and I were heading somewhere. He’ll leave for Baloi (he’s birth place) and me to Butuan and Surigao. But before we leave for a vacation, we spend time together and I just want to share our bonding last night and just this morning.
Last night we had a movie watch. We watched Wrong Turn 11 which was so creepy, kelan ba naging smooth yung wrong turn? Hehehehe..anyways, after watching I sit closely beside him. He just gave me a look. I sigh softly…
Me: Mer? (sigh)
Amer: (giving me a wonder look) ha?
Me: (speaking softly and kinda shy) Nagugutom ako..
Amer: (laughing) Ay sus! Kala ko kung anu..
(exchange of words sweetly and then leaves..)
After a minute he’s back and then handed me a tuna can, sadly t’was hot ‘n spicy whom I don’t like eating then. But gotta have no choice but to eat it because I’m starving. Him watching pa rin and then I sit beside him again..
Me: Mer? Sino gising sa inyo? Tambay tayu dun sa labas niyo..(at the back of my mind I was saying, kain tayu ng salad dahil ang anghang maxado nung tuna, maawa ka!)
Amer: (good thing he initiated it) Ha? Milagro! Hehehehe..tara para maka kain ka rin ng salad.
Hahahahahaha..so happy for that. Labyu Lolo, my tummy and heart was oh so full last night kahit ni lock ni ate yung gate. Urgh!
This morning, he went sa bahay around 10 and we watched One More Chance. You know the Bea-John Lloyd movie that can tear your heart. While the movie is rolling and t’was the part were Bea said ‘Ako..ako na lang ulit!’. I talked to him..
Me: Mer? Panu kung sabihan ka nang ex mo niyan? (with a curious and heart pumping heart)
Amer: Eh, ewan.
Me: Ka dry! Hahahaha..kung ako sasampalin ko talaga. (lol)
Amer: Sasabihin ko anung na kain mo?
Me: Hahahahahahaha..baka love capsule.
You know simple things but can definitely save a day. We’re both aware that we are leaving and we just make the best out of it. I love it when he texts me ‘Labyu lola!’ even if I’m just next to him. It moves me to be teary eyed when he would just squeeze my hand at the silence of the momentum. The way he held me tightly on his arms and kiss my shoulders makes me want to just be held in his arms forever.
I love you Lolo Amer, see yah as soon as we are home. Next week will be our special day and I know both of us are looking forward to it. We’ve planned for it though!
If I just knew it would be fine for your parents to go with you then I’d choose to go with you than the trip of our group. Char! Hahahahaha..labyu!
Last night we had a movie watch. We watched Wrong Turn 11 which was so creepy, kelan ba naging smooth yung wrong turn? Hehehehe..anyways, after watching I sit closely beside him. He just gave me a look. I sigh softly…
Me: Mer? (sigh)
Amer: (giving me a wonder look) ha?
Me: (speaking softly and kinda shy) Nagugutom ako..
Amer: (laughing) Ay sus! Kala ko kung anu..
(exchange of words sweetly and then leaves..)
After a minute he’s back and then handed me a tuna can, sadly t’was hot ‘n spicy whom I don’t like eating then. But gotta have no choice but to eat it because I’m starving. Him watching pa rin and then I sit beside him again..
Me: Mer? Sino gising sa inyo? Tambay tayu dun sa labas niyo..(at the back of my mind I was saying, kain tayu ng salad dahil ang anghang maxado nung tuna, maawa ka!)
Amer: (good thing he initiated it) Ha? Milagro! Hehehehe..tara para maka kain ka rin ng salad.
Hahahahahaha..so happy for that. Labyu Lolo, my tummy and heart was oh so full last night kahit ni lock ni ate yung gate. Urgh!
This morning, he went sa bahay around 10 and we watched One More Chance. You know the Bea-John Lloyd movie that can tear your heart. While the movie is rolling and t’was the part were Bea said ‘Ako..ako na lang ulit!’. I talked to him..
Me: Mer? Panu kung sabihan ka nang ex mo niyan? (with a curious and heart pumping heart)
Amer: Eh, ewan.
Me: Ka dry! Hahahaha..kung ako sasampalin ko talaga. (lol)
Amer: Sasabihin ko anung na kain mo?
Me: Hahahahahahaha..baka love capsule.
You know simple things but can definitely save a day. We’re both aware that we are leaving and we just make the best out of it. I love it when he texts me ‘Labyu lola!’ even if I’m just next to him. It moves me to be teary eyed when he would just squeeze my hand at the silence of the momentum. The way he held me tightly on his arms and kiss my shoulders makes me want to just be held in his arms forever.
I love you Lolo Amer, see yah as soon as we are home. Next week will be our special day and I know both of us are looking forward to it. We’ve planned for it though!
If I just knew it would be fine for your parents to go with you then I’d choose to go with you than the trip of our group. Char! Hahahahaha..labyu!
Cry of Anger! ♥
T’was a rainy Thursday afternoon, I can hear the rain drops as it kisses our rooftop. I’m chatting right now and then suddenly my eyes filled with tears. I don’t know how to ponder my emotions lately. I easily get tired, get bored, my crybaby attitude visits me again.
I’m chatting with him and I definitely poured out my anger towards the people around us. One thing that sucks with him is his attitude that ‘bahala-na’ or ‘no-comment’ or he’s just good in keeping his emotions. I value his good attitude but not all the time we have to be good, right? Sometimes we have to be stupid in order for us to realize that this is reality, this is where we are trapped now!
I want him to open his eyes and even for just a sec he would try to say what he felt and voice out what would better for us. He may be a happy-go-lucky, yes-to-go-guy but I don’t want my side to perceive that attitude to be his normal one. I chose him because I know he has the heart that I want to.
Tell me, how could it be fair? Me and him just inside our home chatting and watching flicks that sometimes sucks or these two creature staying outside our house the whole night? Our parents would always remind us that we should be very careful with our actions to avoid the gossips of the neighborhood..hello? Where’s the fairness in it? And now they would treat as if we are a fugitive.
I’m mad! Upset! Galit ako! I’ve been keeping my anger the whole time but just this afternoon I can no longer hold on to it! My whole life I tried my very best not to disappoint my parents. He would tell me to understand my parents now because they were only parents. The heck! No way! I need more now their understanding.
I’m sorry for saying this but my emotions were to high that I’d better blog for now. Because I don’t know where to turn to? I’m lost! Yun bang pakiramdam mo na pinagkakaisahan ka ng mundo na ang tanging taong madadamayan mo di mo pa madamaya dahil hindi mo alam kung anung nararamdaman din niya at nasa isip niya.
..and I can’t help but cry! :’(
I’m chatting with him and I definitely poured out my anger towards the people around us. One thing that sucks with him is his attitude that ‘bahala-na’ or ‘no-comment’ or he’s just good in keeping his emotions. I value his good attitude but not all the time we have to be good, right? Sometimes we have to be stupid in order for us to realize that this is reality, this is where we are trapped now!
I want him to open his eyes and even for just a sec he would try to say what he felt and voice out what would better for us. He may be a happy-go-lucky, yes-to-go-guy but I don’t want my side to perceive that attitude to be his normal one. I chose him because I know he has the heart that I want to.
Tell me, how could it be fair? Me and him just inside our home chatting and watching flicks that sometimes sucks or these two creature staying outside our house the whole night? Our parents would always remind us that we should be very careful with our actions to avoid the gossips of the neighborhood..hello? Where’s the fairness in it? And now they would treat as if we are a fugitive.
I’m mad! Upset! Galit ako! I’ve been keeping my anger the whole time but just this afternoon I can no longer hold on to it! My whole life I tried my very best not to disappoint my parents. He would tell me to understand my parents now because they were only parents. The heck! No way! I need more now their understanding.
I’m sorry for saying this but my emotions were to high that I’d better blog for now. Because I don’t know where to turn to? I’m lost! Yun bang pakiramdam mo na pinagkakaisahan ka ng mundo na ang tanging taong madadamayan mo di mo pa madamaya dahil hindi mo alam kung anung nararamdaman din niya at nasa isip niya.
..and I can’t help but cry! :’(
I Love You Game! ♥
We were having kulitan when I told him to play an I Love You game with me. The rule was, state I love You word in 5 languages. I did it first..
- Pakabyaan nakun saka!
- Mahal kita!
- Gihigugma taka!
- *damn I forgot the fourth word..hahahahaha.
- Te amo!
Then its his turn..
(silence) then he said he doesn’t know any language except their language and tagalog. Hahahahahaha..I convinced him to try. Then me, nagyayabang that I won because I got 5 languages of an I love You word. Teasing him!
We were at Alvin’s car when we were playing that. We were supposed to get out of the car and me still keep on teasing him that he lost the game. He then suddenly stops me and say that he got an answer to it.
But you know what he did? He kissed me on the cheeks, just like at the photos and said, ‘yun ang sagot ko!’ Then I’m loss of words. Clearly I was the one who lose the game. Flang!
- Pakabyaan nakun saka!
- Mahal kita!
- Gihigugma taka!
- *damn I forgot the fourth word..hahahahaha.
- Te amo!
Then its his turn..
(silence) then he said he doesn’t know any language except their language and tagalog. Hahahahahaha..I convinced him to try. Then me, nagyayabang that I won because I got 5 languages of an I love You word. Teasing him!
We were at Alvin’s car when we were playing that. We were supposed to get out of the car and me still keep on teasing him that he lost the game. He then suddenly stops me and say that he got an answer to it.
But you know what he did? He kissed me on the cheeks, just like at the photos and said, ‘yun ang sagot ko!’ Then I’m loss of words. Clearly I was the one who lose the game. Flang!
Sorry seems to be the Sweetest Word! ♥
“SORRY is the hardest word to say but it can change everything!”
Exactly it is! I was so pissed with Amer last Sunday night because of what he did. (can’t say the reason) I don’t know why he did that thing but he has his reasons and I got mine.
The next day which was Monday, I can’t just ignore him because his 3 cute-little siblings were with me. I just acted I was not pissed, that I’m just fine. But deep inside I want to speak up to him and confront him about it.
That night he texted me with all those papansin text so I asked him to come by on us since it was just me and Gaga outside. I ask him to say something or explain himself to us. He doesn’t have any idea at all why he had to explain himself. Then I speak up..details..details..details.
I told him all the things that I wanted to say. I was thinking then and prepared myself if his gonna defend his side after all may taray tone but darn on earth I felt so loss of words when all he had to say is ‘SORRY’. Gaga and I were left with a smile on our faces and the angst that I’ve felt for him replaced with a huge smile on my face. The only thing that Gaga said, ‘How sweet…’
Unlike other couples if I may say, that their gonna raise their voice until it leads to a major fight. On his part he accepted his fault without clearing his part why he did it. I’m writing this now but I don’t know what are the exact words to say about that.
Masama man mag compare pero napaisip talaga ako. Sa mga naging uyab ko, siya lang yung pag may gusto ka klaruhin o di kaya may gusto kang sabihin na alam mong mali..siya lang yung di nagtataas ng boses at tinatanggap yung mga pagkakamali na karamihan sa lalaki di natatanggap pag alam nilang pwedi naman nilang madepensaan yung sarili nila. Ewan ko ba mahirap i.explain, common sense na lang. Hehehehe..
Now I’m in love again..we were star gazing outside when a falling star have shown. Before it appeared I ‘m talking to myself with all those blah-blah-blah. But whatever that blah-blah-blah were, crossfinger I swear to God ‘sana!’
Sorry was the sweetest word that night!
Exactly it is! I was so pissed with Amer last Sunday night because of what he did. (can’t say the reason) I don’t know why he did that thing but he has his reasons and I got mine.
The next day which was Monday, I can’t just ignore him because his 3 cute-little siblings were with me. I just acted I was not pissed, that I’m just fine. But deep inside I want to speak up to him and confront him about it.
That night he texted me with all those papansin text so I asked him to come by on us since it was just me and Gaga outside. I ask him to say something or explain himself to us. He doesn’t have any idea at all why he had to explain himself. Then I speak up..details..details..details.
I told him all the things that I wanted to say. I was thinking then and prepared myself if his gonna defend his side after all may taray tone but darn on earth I felt so loss of words when all he had to say is ‘SORRY’. Gaga and I were left with a smile on our faces and the angst that I’ve felt for him replaced with a huge smile on my face. The only thing that Gaga said, ‘How sweet…’
Unlike other couples if I may say, that their gonna raise their voice until it leads to a major fight. On his part he accepted his fault without clearing his part why he did it. I’m writing this now but I don’t know what are the exact words to say about that.
Masama man mag compare pero napaisip talaga ako. Sa mga naging uyab ko, siya lang yung pag may gusto ka klaruhin o di kaya may gusto kang sabihin na alam mong mali..siya lang yung di nagtataas ng boses at tinatanggap yung mga pagkakamali na karamihan sa lalaki di natatanggap pag alam nilang pwedi naman nilang madepensaan yung sarili nila. Ewan ko ba mahirap i.explain, common sense na lang. Hehehehe..
Now I’m in love again..we were star gazing outside when a falling star have shown. Before it appeared I ‘m talking to myself with all those blah-blah-blah. But whatever that blah-blah-blah were, crossfinger I swear to God ‘sana!’
Sorry was the sweetest word that night!
“Its nice to know when someone waits for you to come home not because he wants to hug you but because he wants to know if your safe.”
- thanks for the walk last night Amer..love you lolo! I just miss being with you, seeing you everyday is way too different than being with each other holding hands and hugging each other.
- thanks for the walk last night Amer..love you lolo! I just miss being with you, seeing you everyday is way too different than being with each other holding hands and hugging each other.
It's all on the Wall! ♥
I just find myself yesterday in tears so early in the morning. I cried in a sense that I did not take my breakfast because I lost my appetite with this burden I have. Adding on the net got busted yesterday so there was no contact with my bessies and lolo Amer. But everything went so flawless this morning because of the wall post on my wall and on Amer’s wall.
Amer post on my wall yesterday: God knows anything..LULA. (Luv U Lola Adding)
I replied: ..he does. Hahai..kapoy na mag sige og huna2x. Labyu lolo.
Before logging out I post on his wall: ..i miss you and I need you. :(
He replied: I need you and I miss you. ^_^
Ooh! That thing on our wall completed my day. Simple things but it can change my mood into a thousand smiles. Just this evening he watched with me and my family a movie, bonus na yun. I’m thankful for this day because Amer reminded me again that when things around me fail..thats the time I can count on him twice. For now the only people who understands me are my family, bessies and Amer.
I’ll try to be okay anyway.
Amer post on my wall yesterday: God knows anything..LULA. (Luv U Lola Adding)
I replied: ..he does. Hahai..kapoy na mag sige og huna2x. Labyu lolo.
Before logging out I post on his wall: ..i miss you and I need you. :(
He replied: I need you and I miss you. ^_^
Ooh! That thing on our wall completed my day. Simple things but it can change my mood into a thousand smiles. Just this evening he watched with me and my family a movie, bonus na yun. I’m thankful for this day because Amer reminded me again that when things around me fail..thats the time I can count on him twice. For now the only people who understands me are my family, bessies and Amer.
I’ll try to be okay anyway.
A Blessing to Cry! ♥
I cried the other night with a feeling of bothered and distracted. I was to bothered by Amer’s behavior these past few days. I know he is the person who jokes a lot but aloof most of the time. Pero never ako na bother with his attitude na ganyan.
I saw him last Wednesday outside their house, pero iba yung pakiramdam ko when I saw him that aftie. I went up on him and everything turns out right but at the back of my mind I know there is something wrong. And so i’d just go on.
Thursday evening, I get even more distracted with his behavior na. I asked him but he insisted everything was fine. I sent him a message on FB about my sentiments and concerns about our nature. He replied but I was not convinced by it. Confrontation and clarification happened last night and it turns out well, thank God!
Whatever reasons he gave why we were caught on that situation was a lesson for me and for him as well. I always tell myself that the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E and I’m doing my best to gave him when I was not hooked by my schedule. I know he did it intentionally but he made me cry unintentionally and by nature I was a crybaby you know. He made me cry a lot of times na but not a tears of pain but most of it a tears of joy.
Our relationship was not perfect. We have our flaws but we were just so good in patching our downfalls. We never raised our voice when someone would want to say something and we openly shares our emotion. So, it goes to show that the R-E-S-P-E-C-T is there.
Ang gusto ko lang naman talaga sabihin niya sa akin kung may mali sa mga ginagawa at kilos ko. I kept on telling him na I’m not perfect. I really value it pag pinagsasabihan niya ako because through it I can see that I do exist in his eyes not by my good acts but more of my bad acts and thats what he did last night.
My tears never blamed him of what had happened, its just a wake up call that were just rolling the string of our relationship no matter how much we loved each other. It has been a blessing to cry for him. Love you lolo Amer!
* naku Amer, ang hirap kaya na I want to hug you but I just can’t because papa was there..
I saw him last Wednesday outside their house, pero iba yung pakiramdam ko when I saw him that aftie. I went up on him and everything turns out right but at the back of my mind I know there is something wrong. And so i’d just go on.
Thursday evening, I get even more distracted with his behavior na. I asked him but he insisted everything was fine. I sent him a message on FB about my sentiments and concerns about our nature. He replied but I was not convinced by it. Confrontation and clarification happened last night and it turns out well, thank God!
Whatever reasons he gave why we were caught on that situation was a lesson for me and for him as well. I always tell myself that the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E and I’m doing my best to gave him when I was not hooked by my schedule. I know he did it intentionally but he made me cry unintentionally and by nature I was a crybaby you know. He made me cry a lot of times na but not a tears of pain but most of it a tears of joy.
Our relationship was not perfect. We have our flaws but we were just so good in patching our downfalls. We never raised our voice when someone would want to say something and we openly shares our emotion. So, it goes to show that the R-E-S-P-E-C-T is there.
Ang gusto ko lang naman talaga sabihin niya sa akin kung may mali sa mga ginagawa at kilos ko. I kept on telling him na I’m not perfect. I really value it pag pinagsasabihan niya ako because through it I can see that I do exist in his eyes not by my good acts but more of my bad acts and thats what he did last night.
My tears never blamed him of what had happened, its just a wake up call that were just rolling the string of our relationship no matter how much we loved each other. It has been a blessing to cry for him. Love you lolo Amer!
* naku Amer, ang hirap kaya na I want to hug you but I just can’t because papa was there..
Oh well, we’ve just had a lot of talks more on our family. I really value and loved the moments whenever he shared something about his family and me on the other hand who rarely shares about the life of our family because I’m such an introverted person.
Sharing something that deals with family was not really my thing. It takes much courage of me to open up about it but I don’t know where I grabbed the guts to share then. Maybe because he’s vocal about the whereabouts of their family and he gave me a feeling that okay-adding-I -loved-to-listen.
When we were left with the noise of the waves, I was thinking what if this guy would be my heaven sent for real? How would be my life living in a world that is way to far from the world I was into. Does the values and traits that we used to when growing may affect our lives beyond the love? Muslim-Christian values.
I was staring at him whenever his mind wanders anywhere then looking back on my life before having him. I even wonder what’s on his mind when his all alone and chose to be in solitude.
Then on..days, months are not the basis of a long relationship. It goes beyond time that exist in your happiness being together and on how you respect each others individuality. Celebrating that day for sure was not an ordinary day but a day to remember with a thankful heart. I’m always thankful to God.
That day became even more sweeter because we filled it with an ‘Ice Cream!’
Sharing something that deals with family was not really my thing. It takes much courage of me to open up about it but I don’t know where I grabbed the guts to share then. Maybe because he’s vocal about the whereabouts of their family and he gave me a feeling that okay-adding-I -loved-to-listen.
When we were left with the noise of the waves, I was thinking what if this guy would be my heaven sent for real? How would be my life living in a world that is way to far from the world I was into. Does the values and traits that we used to when growing may affect our lives beyond the love? Muslim-Christian values.
I was staring at him whenever his mind wanders anywhere then looking back on my life before having him. I even wonder what’s on his mind when his all alone and chose to be in solitude.
Then on..days, months are not the basis of a long relationship. It goes beyond time that exist in your happiness being together and on how you respect each others individuality. Celebrating that day for sure was not an ordinary day but a day to remember with a thankful heart. I’m always thankful to God.
That day became even more sweeter because we filled it with an ‘Ice Cream!’
It's All on the Sidebar! ♥
Last Monday night, I logged in to check some mails on my FB. I was busy surfing some pictures when I came across to visit Amer’s FB account. Then on I saw his sidebar again, before the one written was ‘L=ove O=nly L=ola O=k’ and now it was..
‘LULA = Luv U Lol(♥_♥)adding.’
Naks naman! I was so touched because I really appreciate his effort to do those kind of stuffs. I know only few people especially boys post that thingy on the side bar of their FB. The best thing about him, he never fails to appreciate my existence.
When I was in Manila and I was left all alone in the room. I kept on thinking about him and ask God, what on earth I have done for me to bless me this very heaven sent blessings? Blessed with my dance life, I’m blessed to have my bessies and friends, I’m even blessed to have my family and more than that to be blessed by God with someone named ‘Amer Lumna’.
The fact that his family accepts the reality between us, makes it more a blessing. Every conversation I have with his siblings was a poured blessing for me. Why not? The feeling of acceptance was there and I never doubted it.
Now I’m even more so touched because Mama said he likes Amer, whew! Sarap naman, I’m not the only one in the family who sees his good heart. Mabait naman talaga siya at dun ko siya mas lalong minahal.
But he doesn’t know that there were times that I cried at night not because I was in pain but in gladness. I cried while I pray and thanking and asking God why do I deserve this and why do I deserve him? Am I that worthy for him? Do I’m being unfair in this relationship na? I’m always busy with my dance life, I told him about it but he only sighs, as long as I’m enjoying in every endeavor I take he’ll always be there for me.
Our group will go to Butuan this week and it depends upon us if we will go or not. Whether our choreographer will insist me to go, I’ll have my final decision. I’m not going, I’ll stay with Amer and we’ll spend the 2 days together before he leaves for Marawi and me for Bukidnon.
Then just this afternoon, I put on my side bar… ‘I ♥ Amer Lumna!’
‘LULA = Luv U Lol(♥_♥)adding.’
Naks naman! I was so touched because I really appreciate his effort to do those kind of stuffs. I know only few people especially boys post that thingy on the side bar of their FB. The best thing about him, he never fails to appreciate my existence.
When I was in Manila and I was left all alone in the room. I kept on thinking about him and ask God, what on earth I have done for me to bless me this very heaven sent blessings? Blessed with my dance life, I’m blessed to have my bessies and friends, I’m even blessed to have my family and more than that to be blessed by God with someone named ‘Amer Lumna’.
The fact that his family accepts the reality between us, makes it more a blessing. Every conversation I have with his siblings was a poured blessing for me. Why not? The feeling of acceptance was there and I never doubted it.
Now I’m even more so touched because Mama said he likes Amer, whew! Sarap naman, I’m not the only one in the family who sees his good heart. Mabait naman talaga siya at dun ko siya mas lalong minahal.
But he doesn’t know that there were times that I cried at night not because I was in pain but in gladness. I cried while I pray and thanking and asking God why do I deserve this and why do I deserve him? Am I that worthy for him? Do I’m being unfair in this relationship na? I’m always busy with my dance life, I told him about it but he only sighs, as long as I’m enjoying in every endeavor I take he’ll always be there for me.
Our group will go to Butuan this week and it depends upon us if we will go or not. Whether our choreographer will insist me to go, I’ll have my final decision. I’m not going, I’ll stay with Amer and we’ll spend the 2 days together before he leaves for Marawi and me for Bukidnon.
Then just this afternoon, I put on my side bar… ‘I ♥ Amer Lumna!’
I Miss You! :'(
I thought this would be easy but my heart is oh so longing for Lolo right now. Everytime we text, I never told him ‘I miss you’ but deep inside I super-duper miss his company. His wacky jokes, our trash joke to each other that makes us a kid, my coffee and ice cream mate will be gone for a month. How am I gonna deal with that? Oh well, my dance life fill it in but not all the time. Sometimes when rehearsing I just found myself staring at some point thinking already about him.
His sister told me its just a month, yes it is but ewan ko ba. You know the long-distance syndrome? Feel me! Hahahahahahaha..I’m going through that I guess. Maybe because when I woke up every morning, he welcomes it with a smile in his heart. When I came home from rehearsal, his smile draining off the stresses in me.
You know simple things that the other person fails to see, but it does really pleases me by his simple acts. Just a sit in the corner sharing a cup of coffee even without having a talk means a lot to me. Just having him around, feeling his presence, the way he holds my hand was like saying ‘I won’t ever let go..’ and giving him a hug was more of saying ‘I won’t even let go…’ makes the moment worthwhile.
Okay, I accept the defeat of missing someone. I’ll take that challenge! The distance makes me even fall for him and this relationship.
Tomorrow is our special day. It’s the birth of our relationship! That even makes me miss him, we’re not together to celebrate that special day though. We even extend the distance because I’ll be in Davao and he’s in Marawi. Ouch! I’m not expecting any surprises tomorrow but I know for sure when things fall into normal, we’ll make it up.
I miss you Lolo Amer Ko!
His sister told me its just a month, yes it is but ewan ko ba. You know the long-distance syndrome? Feel me! Hahahahahahaha..I’m going through that I guess. Maybe because when I woke up every morning, he welcomes it with a smile in his heart. When I came home from rehearsal, his smile draining off the stresses in me.
You know simple things that the other person fails to see, but it does really pleases me by his simple acts. Just a sit in the corner sharing a cup of coffee even without having a talk means a lot to me. Just having him around, feeling his presence, the way he holds my hand was like saying ‘I won’t ever let go..’ and giving him a hug was more of saying ‘I won’t even let go…’ makes the moment worthwhile.
Okay, I accept the defeat of missing someone. I’ll take that challenge! The distance makes me even fall for him and this relationship.
Tomorrow is our special day. It’s the birth of our relationship! That even makes me miss him, we’re not together to celebrate that special day though. We even extend the distance because I’ll be in Davao and he’s in Marawi. Ouch! I’m not expecting any surprises tomorrow but I know for sure when things fall into normal, we’ll make it up.
I miss you Lolo Amer Ko!
Meet thy Family! ♥
OMG! Just this evening I was about to go to our neighbors house when Lainie, the sister of Amer called me. I thought she was just gonna ask me or what about certain stuffs but darn! She wants to have a talk with me along with their wacky family. I felt like I was clawed by a trap or something.
Amer was there of course, they keep on asking things like ‘Anu nagustuhan ko kay Amer?’, ‘Naka ilang uyab na ba ako?’, ‘Hindi ba ako natatakot na Maranao sila’, I was like ‘Wait! I’m not ready for this, AMER!’. I know Amer felt so embarrassed about the questions that his sister and his cousin has for me. Adding on the meeting that I have with the parents of Amer. Grabe! I felt like half of my body was on its grave nah. OMG! His father was so good that he made an effort to introduce me to his children (though I knew them nah) His mom was too kind to put up a smile and laughed as she listens to her daughter throw those questions on me. Until all of their relatives stepped-in and then listened to our conversation. But where was Amer? Hahahahahahaha..he stayed outside because her sister won’t stop mocking him.
The point to that meeting actually was that they do really want to hear me say that ‘Yes! We’re officially an item. Na sinagot ko si Amer. Na kami na nga!’ because they can’t believe it that I said yes to Amer. I can see it to their faces the ‘?’ mark. I wasn’t able to answer them straight why I said yes to him. Then let me justify my part here.
‘I know Amer hasn’t the physical quality of the ideal man that I was dreaming of when I was in high-school. Sabi nga nang ate niya, ‘hindi naman matangos ilong niya, hindi naman siya gwapo’. What makes him win my heart was the fact that he is a good and a true person! He may be a Muslim bound with Muslim tradition but I value the person behind that and then now he gave me a lot of reasons to fall for him, and its his family.
His sister said, hindi kaba natakot na mga Maranao kami? I simply said, ‘A lot of people stereotype the muslims as the bad ones and I want to find out me myself if really it was.’ Tawa pa siya nang tawa kasi nag english ako, ang hirap magtagalog teh! Hahahahaha..
I’m happy of what had happened tonight, I know her sister only wants to clarify the real score between me and Amer and I respect that. I love the smiles and the kilig that they felt when I was trying to hide at Amer or trying to make palaban.
Amer and I are taking things lightly, we’re not in a hurry or something, we’re just enjoying our everyday meet-up and its unplanned. I won’t say ‘I want to be part of their family but I’d like too!’
Amer was there of course, they keep on asking things like ‘Anu nagustuhan ko kay Amer?’, ‘Naka ilang uyab na ba ako?’, ‘Hindi ba ako natatakot na Maranao sila’, I was like ‘Wait! I’m not ready for this, AMER!’. I know Amer felt so embarrassed about the questions that his sister and his cousin has for me. Adding on the meeting that I have with the parents of Amer. Grabe! I felt like half of my body was on its grave nah. OMG! His father was so good that he made an effort to introduce me to his children (though I knew them nah) His mom was too kind to put up a smile and laughed as she listens to her daughter throw those questions on me. Until all of their relatives stepped-in and then listened to our conversation. But where was Amer? Hahahahahahaha..he stayed outside because her sister won’t stop mocking him.
The point to that meeting actually was that they do really want to hear me say that ‘Yes! We’re officially an item. Na sinagot ko si Amer. Na kami na nga!’ because they can’t believe it that I said yes to Amer. I can see it to their faces the ‘?’ mark. I wasn’t able to answer them straight why I said yes to him. Then let me justify my part here.
‘I know Amer hasn’t the physical quality of the ideal man that I was dreaming of when I was in high-school. Sabi nga nang ate niya, ‘hindi naman matangos ilong niya, hindi naman siya gwapo’. What makes him win my heart was the fact that he is a good and a true person! He may be a Muslim bound with Muslim tradition but I value the person behind that and then now he gave me a lot of reasons to fall for him, and its his family.
His sister said, hindi kaba natakot na mga Maranao kami? I simply said, ‘A lot of people stereotype the muslims as the bad ones and I want to find out me myself if really it was.’ Tawa pa siya nang tawa kasi nag english ako, ang hirap magtagalog teh! Hahahahaha..
I’m happy of what had happened tonight, I know her sister only wants to clarify the real score between me and Amer and I respect that. I love the smiles and the kilig that they felt when I was trying to hide at Amer or trying to make palaban.
Amer and I are taking things lightly, we’re not in a hurry or something, we’re just enjoying our everyday meet-up and its unplanned. I won’t say ‘I want to be part of their family but I’d like too!’
First Time! ♥
I only got the chance this time to blog our very first-time to be together (I won’t call it a date) because the setting was not a date scenario and we almost postponed it.
Anyways, it happened last Friday March 26, 2010. I invited him actually to come with me at school to meet my dance mate and to give him a glimpse of how my life was before we became an item. T’was a getting-to-know-each-other stage actually and I’m so shocked to know a lot of things about him.
What I learned about him was that, its his first time to ride a ‘jeepney’ and a ‘motorela’, to eat a kwek-kwek, to roam around DV..hahahahaha. Am I a B.I.? I’ve learned that he’s really quiet but makulit by nature. I love how he laughed at certain circumstances and how he cracked his punchlines that breaks my silence. Then I just knew that he was once a blood donor for Khalid. Dun ako talagang mas na touched!
He saw me dance and as what he uses to say he was my number 1 fan na to the highest level talaga, hahahahahaha. He waited patiently for us to end our rehearsal and without even murmuring that his tired of waiting or what, but he just gave me a smile that assures me that he was okay. He smiles when I was scold by our director, he laughs when I stumble with my routine but that smile and laugh trying to say that it was ‘OK’.
Right after, we ate kwek-kwek. My beloved kwek-kwek. We walked-talked-laughed, my lil sissy on the dance troupe finally met him. I was moved by the behavior he had towards my lil sissy. I thought he was gonna shut his mouth but hey, he talked to them like they knew each other nah. I’m so touched! We did talk about me converting and be a muslim (gusto niya but he’s not provoking me), about marriage (hala! Anu daw?).
What makes that very first-time was that, it’s the first time we hold-hands. :) After a week of being an item, we finally hold each others hand. And I cherished it the most! I saw the respect that he has for me as a woman and treating me like I was one of them (muslim). He never take an advantage of the moment that we were alone. He never said things that makes me feel unloved.
His definitely a good son, a loving brother, a reliable friend and a generous partner. I thought before I was the only one who can see his good heart but the people around us as well and I guess that is what I call ‘blessed’. Yes, I am blessed because God gave me a blessing that’s worth for keeps.
Before we went home to our respective homes, he bought me an ice cream and so it was, we ended the day with a cup of ice cream sprinkled with a toppings of love. ♥
Anyways, it happened last Friday March 26, 2010. I invited him actually to come with me at school to meet my dance mate and to give him a glimpse of how my life was before we became an item. T’was a getting-to-know-each-other stage actually and I’m so shocked to know a lot of things about him.
What I learned about him was that, its his first time to ride a ‘jeepney’ and a ‘motorela’, to eat a kwek-kwek, to roam around DV..hahahahaha. Am I a B.I.? I’ve learned that he’s really quiet but makulit by nature. I love how he laughed at certain circumstances and how he cracked his punchlines that breaks my silence. Then I just knew that he was once a blood donor for Khalid. Dun ako talagang mas na touched!
He saw me dance and as what he uses to say he was my number 1 fan na to the highest level talaga, hahahahahaha. He waited patiently for us to end our rehearsal and without even murmuring that his tired of waiting or what, but he just gave me a smile that assures me that he was okay. He smiles when I was scold by our director, he laughs when I stumble with my routine but that smile and laugh trying to say that it was ‘OK’.
Right after, we ate kwek-kwek. My beloved kwek-kwek. We walked-talked-laughed, my lil sissy on the dance troupe finally met him. I was moved by the behavior he had towards my lil sissy. I thought he was gonna shut his mouth but hey, he talked to them like they knew each other nah. I’m so touched! We did talk about me converting and be a muslim (gusto niya but he’s not provoking me), about marriage (hala! Anu daw?).
What makes that very first-time was that, it’s the first time we hold-hands. :) After a week of being an item, we finally hold each others hand. And I cherished it the most! I saw the respect that he has for me as a woman and treating me like I was one of them (muslim). He never take an advantage of the moment that we were alone. He never said things that makes me feel unloved.
His definitely a good son, a loving brother, a reliable friend and a generous partner. I thought before I was the only one who can see his good heart but the people around us as well and I guess that is what I call ‘blessed’. Yes, I am blessed because God gave me a blessing that’s worth for keeps.
Before we went home to our respective homes, he bought me an ice cream and so it was, we ended the day with a cup of ice cream sprinkled with a toppings of love. ♥
MIdnight Walk! ♥
T’was just an ordinary night, not having any thought that night would turn to be special. I know he was coming home from Marawi and that he wants to surprise me but thanks to his cousin for slipping his tongue. Na palaw! :P
We we’re chatting last night like the usual stuffs we do every night. I just came home from the practice and my stomach was really starving because I haven’t eaten yet. I was into a strick ‘diet’ if you may know (char na word) right now. I only eat rice by lunch and coffee or boiled egg for morning and then evening.
I told him about that and I ask him if there was some store who’s still open for service. He just said come and we’ll look for it. Without any hesitation, I then get out of the house without my parents knowing to think t’was almost 12 am (hehehe..bad!)
And so we’ve looked for some store, and I just bought a biscuit and a coffee, but he wants to buy that ice cream for me but I’d refuse to it because ice cream is too sweet. Nakakataba masyado ang ice cream. His kinda disappointed when I rejected it but he’d understand naman. I’ll make bawi naman.
Siyempre, we talked-laughed-talked-laughed like we’ve never seen each other for years. I just love the feeling that night, oh well, its been years na rin I haven’t feel that kind of spark. I actually cried the night before because I was just moved by the things he have said. I’m not expecting that much about our relationship but everyday was like we are a new born creature who would only live to love and to explore each others nature.
“Yes, I’m definitely in love with him because he just simply makes me feel that I was loved by him..”
We end the midnight walk with huge happy smiles on our faces and a heart that’s filled with love and gratitude. We hugged each other and simply whispered, ‘I love you Lolo-I love you Lola!’
We we’re chatting last night like the usual stuffs we do every night. I just came home from the practice and my stomach was really starving because I haven’t eaten yet. I was into a strick ‘diet’ if you may know (char na word) right now. I only eat rice by lunch and coffee or boiled egg for morning and then evening.
I told him about that and I ask him if there was some store who’s still open for service. He just said come and we’ll look for it. Without any hesitation, I then get out of the house without my parents knowing to think t’was almost 12 am (hehehe..bad!)
And so we’ve looked for some store, and I just bought a biscuit and a coffee, but he wants to buy that ice cream for me but I’d refuse to it because ice cream is too sweet. Nakakataba masyado ang ice cream. His kinda disappointed when I rejected it but he’d understand naman. I’ll make bawi naman.
Siyempre, we talked-laughed-talked-laughed like we’ve never seen each other for years. I just love the feeling that night, oh well, its been years na rin I haven’t feel that kind of spark. I actually cried the night before because I was just moved by the things he have said. I’m not expecting that much about our relationship but everyday was like we are a new born creature who would only live to love and to explore each others nature.
“Yes, I’m definitely in love with him because he just simply makes me feel that I was loved by him..”
We end the midnight walk with huge happy smiles on our faces and a heart that’s filled with love and gratitude. We hugged each other and simply whispered, ‘I love you Lolo-I love you Lola!’
September 21, 2010
Hello Blogspot!
Hi there my ever lovely blogspot? Haven't been posting here right? I was captivated by my Tumblr (easy way to blog), so I'm opt today to post one. I just miss you, you were my first official blog site and I know we've shared good and healthy thoughts together. You know my frailties and insecurities, don't you? I once planned to leave you but my heart always cling to you, so, here I am again bumping on to you. Am I still welcomed? Please take me again to your world.. Don't you miss my confessions and secrets?
I won't leave you that's why I'm making it up to you. I may not updated you as what I was doing before but still I'll always share something sweet on you.
June 24, 2010
♥ Dreams are Made of! ♥
These past months I was busy with my life. The major thing was the Pilipinas Got Talent.
"Thank you to those who've supported us and prayed for us pala.."
Prayers do really helped me to attain my dreams in life. I'm still on great awe and goosebumps people when I looked back on into my life before as an ordinary kid and now as a someone whom people recognizes then. I'm not an artista okay, really I'm not and I hate to be called one! But I do act on theater basically, I may not be the role actress but I'm good though. Blee!
When I was on my toddler (char! hanep naman nang memory ko), pre-school so to speak, t'was really my dream to perform on a big stage where people would applause and too mesmerized with my performance. I dreamed to be a ramp model, singer, dancer, and to be an artista was the least on my list. Childish dreams with childish hopes, I'm just a kid that time and I can explore everything in my fantasy and putting all those into reality was an ache to my chest. Ouch!
Growing up and living to the real world gives us a glimpse or purely life lessons, especially when I became a Psychology student. That everything can be achieve by learning and perseverance. I'm not stating here that psychology can give you all the answers in your life but not ok? I passed satisfactorily the stage of childhood and adolescent. Now I'm on my early adulthood and looking back to those stages, I've come to far to where I am now.
You don't have to stick to your 'wants' in life just let them to be your inspiration to achieve your wants. Ramp model? Why not? I can make my way a runway everyday with my oh-so-cool-get-ups. Singer? Who said singers are the only one who has a license to hold on to the microphones.. I can make our banyo a stage and can scream my heart out to the highest notes there is. Dancer? I'm enjoying my spotlight now and always. Artista? You know people..call me hypocrite or jerk for this but being an artista was no longer on my list ages ago. Showbiz and the glitzy-glamorous world of showbiz are good but it doesn't guarantee you a freedom to be yourself. It's just good to see your face on camera but off cam, no one cares about your emotions.
Anyways, dreamers like me let us keep on dreaming. Let's dream everyday and dream our hearts with happy thoughts. Take me as an example, before, I told myself I'm gonna step on into ABS-CBN and I did not even dreamed to perform there but look where my dream took me. I just dream for a big stage where people would applaud you but the entire Philippines saw me and my group performed.
I did not stick to my wish-list, I just let things happen with a proper mind set to it. And again, I'm satisfied to where my decisions led me. I'm glad I have a heart who knows to respect my mind. I know I've reached this far not because I was meant for it but I deserve it and these were my dreams are made of!
I miss you blogspot!
March 7, 2010
♥ Changes ♥
* photo courtesy of Dicky! When I started the year 2010, I prayed na sana things will go smoothly. So far, its not but this year is still a long way to go. Be positive!
Changes, just got a lot of changes in me. A simple reminder from him definitely changes a million bad acts of mine. Someone did it to me not by words or action but pure realization. I don't know why I behave this way the moment I knew something about our special friendship. If there is something that I should be thankful then is that I met him despite our beliefs and cultural differences. Lets just say, i fell in love more with the culture.
I can't put a clearer picture of us now but sure thing I'm glad to have him.
He never knew he changed me, but I welcomed the changed!
February 15, 2010
♥ Goodbye Bler! ♥
I don't personally know Bler Balbuena. All I know he was playing for the Ateneo Blue Knights (Ateneo de Davao). I really salute him because his such a great player despite of his height. I met him during the Jesuit Invitational Games '08 (JIG).
What moved me was knowing the fact that he died last January 21, 2010 which was the date of my birthday. I was chatting with Dinette in Facebook just this afternoon and I ask her about Bler because I saw the album of their coach stating about his wake and burial. I ask her then and she confirmed it. She did not told me about the reason of his death but all she said it's better for him than to see him suffer.
I know your in God's hand now Bler but surely your memories will live on to our hearts. I'm glad to meet and greet you. Goodbye and see you at the resurrection mourning! ♥
February 14, 2010
♥ Equivalent to an 'I Love You' word ♥
* happy Valentines to all! For couples, single(like me), broken hearted, in-love, hopeful and all the cloud 9 emotions you have people..♥
Really, Valentines Day is just an ordinary day for me but since people keep on texting me and would say 'Happy Valentines Day!' kakabit pa ang word na 'Nana kay date?' or 'Musta ang date?' Aba? Meyganun talaga?
Anyways, i must say its all about love. Love for family, friends, spouse, partner or special someone a.k.a 'jowa'. Ang baduy ko! hahahaha...and siyempre si God. (at bumait ako bigla). O?! totoo na'to.
Family:
Family, our roots dba? Love you my family though lately i'm so unattached towards you. I'm coping naman. :) I know no matter how crap my life would be, at the end of the day you'll be the one to make me feel how special I am in many ways. Sorry and every sorry word is equivalent to an 'I love you' word.
Friends:
Hahahaha...every time I spent with you mga loko kayo, mga bruha kayo, mga bayot buang kayo is equivalent to an 'I love you' word. Amen.
Special Someone a.k.a. 'Jowa':
Naku! Ito na, sabit tayo dito. Hahaha...well, I've been single for the longest time fellas but I never felt bitter about this. In fact' I'm embracing it. But being single doesn't mean I am exempted from all the pains and aches. Even if I felt pain, I still believe that every tear I shed is equivalent to an 'I love you' word. It may be left unspoken or over used. :P
God:
My salvation, my warrior, my strength, my provider. I haven't been into church for so long now. Di naman siguro ako ganyan na kasama noh? By heart God knows I want to but my laziness always win over me which I know t'was really bad. God deserves these 3 words because every word I say on my prayer is equivalent to an 'I love you' word.
A lot of people celebrates valentines day in different ways, but the common thing they have then was all about love. Embrace every person your with now, family, friends, special someone and tell them I'm doing this because it is an equivalent to an 'I love you' word.
Happy Valentines Day!
February 13, 2010
I ♥ my Bessies!
* sorry? I'm not that good with editing mga bes. :)
I don't know what I did why God gave me this two lovely ladies with very bubbly personalities. We're just actually blockmates, who turned into groupmates and then now friendship. O dba? I'm not actually part of their group at first coz I got mine pud. Looking back, I guess the friendship thingy starts when we became groupmates in FFP (correct me if I'm wrong gurls), where we went in Bukidnon which was my hometown.
Now meet these two lovely gurls and why I ♥ them the most.
Hearty:
Hearty has been my takbuhan since Conie went to Canada, takbuhan ko siya when everything around me seems to be so wrong. This girl saw me fret a lot of times. She's the very religious one, sana man lang magmana ako sayo kahit konti. Hehehe..I know a lot of people appreciate her because of her kind attitude. I love her because she gives me a lot of reason to be positive and would remind me that things happen for a reason. Sobrang simple, walang ka keme2x sa buhay. Just a text away?, darating yan, pwera lang kung lowbat ang fon. Meyganun?
Conie:
Conie is in Canada now and who says distance can create a gap? Oops! Not for us! It actually strengthen the friendship even more. Thank you Plurk and Facebook for keeping us in touch. I love this girl because she never fails to uplift us with her bungisgis laugh. Just a pop in chatroom and she's willing to listen to all of our dilemmas. Even if we communicate through our social-networking sites, I can feel and even hear her laughter. Sobrang humble at walang ka ere2x. Ms. Canada? Miss ka na ni Ms. Philippines!
Well, the only thing I know is that they were one of the best cures of my burdens. They are indeed a real friends. They are not fake! Mawala lang lahat wag lang kayo. I love you really that much that's why I value you both. I know I'm elder than them but friendship doesn't have an age limit though. Hahahaha..with their laughs and comfort, I know every pain and aches are just a piece of cake at kayo ang super matamis na toppings!
I'll always be proud of you both..sorry if I fail to do my part in your lives most of the times. :'(
God just know what's best for me and it's you my bessies! ♥
February 3, 2010
♥ With mah Gurls ♥
* with my ever gurls sa dance troupe at Butcher's Best! Nina treated as actually because of the commission that she got from her mom. They were my love of my life sa dance troupe. I love to dance with them. There is Aura (the one with glasses), my ever veteran na sa dance troupe like me. My pakner actually. Then Karissa or Kare (with a food waiting to be swallowed), the very applauded when it comes to dance because of her ballet skills. Then my lil sis Nina (in white), the super generous girl.
We may came from different family backgrounds but dance shaped us to where we are now. I love you mah gurls! Hopefully when things doesn't turn out right to us especially me, will still be proud to have each others girls. Love you!
♥ Keep on Dancing! ♥
;D
January 31, 2010
♥ January Fever! ♥
January was really my special month not just because it's the month of my birthday but a lot of awesome opportunities stepped in. Kinda so busy with my raket everywhere. After all the stress I can finally hit my mind as the keyboard complement to it. Happy Birthday:
Birthdays are just an ordinary day for me. Like preparing foods, presents, the colorful balloons that adds color to the party, was not really my style when celebrating my birthday. Greetings and hugs are the perfect essence for me when talked about birthdays.
Last January 21, I turned 22 and I welcomed it with a very boastful heart to tell the world that I'm a more matured adult. Celebrating it with my loved ones made my birthday a very joyous one.
Grace made an effort to give me a card with all the birthday greetings of my psychmates and former block mates who's in far places nah. See? She made it possible to joint them in one event. Hahaha...it's so nice to see that people made an effort to greet me even the ones whom I haven't knew greeted me as well. Sobrang saya!
With my dance mates presents, okay it was my lil sis idea to surprise me. What she did actually, she did not make pansin for 4 days before my birthday. Sobrang na tiis niya yun and I was in pain na because how can she not make pansin without me knowing what was happening gyud. Until the day of my birthday, it was raining then and we have a rehearsal. Aura want me to changed na my rehearsal outfit nah. But the moment I opened the door after I changed, I'm just so shocked to see my lil sis and my other dance mates holding on to this cake and everybody said 'happy birthday'. Super touch ako! My lil sis said sorry and said it took her a lot of courage to not talk to me for 4 days. Maam Lago was even mad na pud for doing so. Kalurkee! Haha..
But really, every time it snapped on my mind, it brings me jud sa cloud nine. Hahaha...super saya na sobrang thank you mga mahal ko for remembering my day. I hoped I can return the same favor soon. :)
Concert Tour: Malitbog, Bukidnon
*the first photo where the venue of our concert. That was around 6 am in the morning, taking a walk to feel the cool breeze of that place. The second one was after our very gleeful show!
Finally! The concert tour kicks-off last January 24, 2009. First stop? Malitbog, Bukidnon. A place of God's wonderful creation. I love the place, the people. Money really can't cost the experience.
The bilar and chika moments, the door-to-door meal, the carry those plywood girls, the no ligo-no toothbrushing performers, Hahahaha...that's how gross we are when we performed that night. The hardships and stress was well paid by the positive feedback of the people there. It is where I saw the unity of our group. Where just new to the world of theater but our perseverance to make it was our weapon to go on with it.
On February will be hitting Surigao and Davao. Excited!
Pilipinas Got Talent:
Okay people, joining Pilipinas Got Talent was never on our agenda. But as opportunity knocks, why not grab it dba? Sir Jeff of ABS-CBN Manila visited as last Nov during our rehearsal for XIMBOLO. He watched us and then told us to why not try to audition. After that Sir Sai asked as to go for it or not. We said why not, wala namang mawawala kung matanggap o hindi. And so it goes...we get in!
Last January 30, that was for Mindanao Qualifiers. Sir Sai was hesitating actually to join or not since we only have 3 days to prepare for our piece. To think were only given two minutes to perform and two minutes was not that easy to make. But then again, we take it. Everyone of us are to eager to grab a slot for it.
The day comes to showcase our 2 minute piece in front of the judges. Kris Aquino, Ai-ai de las Alas and Mr. Freddie Garcia (former president of ABS-CBN). At the back stage, we can feel each others heart beat. Lahat talaga kinakabahan, marinig lang yung boses ni Miss Kris. Kalurkee!
But when we stepped into the stage and she said (kris) 'wow ang ganda nang costume, baby pink!' Every one of us was so gigil na to perform. The we did! We got the 3 yes from them and then voila! Manila here we come! Super naka drop lang yung jaw ni Ms. Kris the whole performance and then the 3 of them applauded us. Their smiles and applause guaranteed us a Manila trip. Sarap!
I still couldn't believe the blessings we were taking on now. God made our January so fruitful and hoped in the upcoming months di mag sasawa si God. Love you Lord!
* that's how insane my January is..lahat good vibes. Whew! :D Then with it, I win back my self. Mahal ko na naman ang dance mates ko. But I do hope kasama nung success eh less naman sa heart aches. Hahaha...meyganun? Love you my real-best-friend!
January 16, 2010
Okay my dance life comes back. It started last Monday and I'm like a freak because I felt like new onto the dance floor but anyhow I miss the dance hall. It's just so nice to rehears again especially now that my partner Aura is back. God knows how glad I am to see her again dancing with us. And maybe I'm not the person I am lately. Chus!
I really like the newbies on the group namely Togas (who never fail to distract me with his blooper), Balot (who was the 'kalog' as well and the very tahimik), Jimmy (who looks like Yael but dances like one of the Streetboys. Meyganun?) and Jhong (who's so damn good with tumblings and all that hiphop moves).
I know I gotta change because its for my own good na rin. I love you self and you're doin' great so far in dealing with your dance mates. ♥
* by the way we get into the Pilipinas Got Talent! What a blessing to start the year! Go team!
January 10, 2010
♥ T'was a Great Day ♥
* my lil sis and me..♥Message Deleted:
I’m so shocked this morning when I received a text message from an anonymous sender saying: “Saiyawi og XUCDT? Di man chada manayaw. Banga! Mga pasikat kayo. Chaka man!”
Ooohh my gash! I’m stunned and just got no idea about who the sender was and finding out it was Ate Ara who makes a trip on us. Good thing the XUCDT did not mind that stuff. She even said then that we are so good because we never hooked to her trip. Hahaha…sorry Ate Ara, better luck next time but nice try. :)
I love this Day:
After our practice just this afternoon (yes, I'm back on the dance-floor) I asked Aura (my ever great partner sa group) to roam around the gym since we're waiting for our choreographer and other dance mates. I was so shocked to see this security guard who went up on me with a very happy smile and said he was glad to see me because it's been too long he haven't seen me daw. So I was like, "wooh? Really? ...Ahuh?" Hehe...he was one of the sekyu in our campus. They were good to us naman but not all. *smile...smile..smile..Nakakataba lang talaga nang puso makita yung isang tao na masaya because of you. :'( So far, I'm not that non-sense creature rin pala.
Sort of Upset: talking about Nina
Okay, lil sis and I kinda have this misunderstanding earlier but everything was fixed agad and we did the explanation stuff on Facebook. *sosyal..hahaha. That's how interactive we are. The conversation goes like these:
Nina: you left me kanina :( cry, cry, cry :'(
Me: ...no I didn't lil sis. I thought u'l go pa sa office so we went ahead nah. I told aura to text you but u did not reply. It was not intentionally done lil sis, we were told bya pud dba na will have a talk with maam alice but you and den2x were not in sight.Nina: it's ok big siz .. when we went down ni denise, nawala napud mo ni ate aw. I was sad :( but it's okay nah :) nabag.ohan lang gyud ko na wa ta nakasabai ug naog. damn. and oh, I was really suprised na ate shawi was around! ! ! :DDD
Me: ...u know I'll never do that (leaving). We were roaming around the gym and waiting for maam alice to arrive. Sorry somehow. ♥ Anyways, I'm glad as well she's back. Yibah!
Nina: LOL. and yeah, as what i've said .. I'm not used to it gyud :( huhuhuhu. well, at least we know our both sides nah big siz. lageeeh! i was SUPRISED gyud nah :D is ate shawi joinin' the bukidnon concert? :DDD
Me: ..yezzzz! She'll replace ate arianne for inayaw and tausug and taiza's place for baled. :)
...both of us are not use to it. :) Like your prime pic.
Nina: ooh, i see! :D greeeat! yipee! and there apat na ta teh. . including ate ara pa! HAHAHA! really? mom said na my primary photo looks cute :))
Me: ...hahaha. Yep we're for forces nah. Di na lisod i.buo ang team kay we're on the same platoon now. Roow kau ang platoon na word. :)
I just sometimes can't understand my lil sis attitude but she's nice you know and that's what I like about her. Her inconsistency of mind sometimes gets me on my nerves but she's one of the sweetest thing on the dance floor ever. Hahai..kaloka ako, nag effort ba naman akong i.lagay yung conversation namin dito. Hahaha..that's how crazy I am. ♥
January 5, 2010
♥ Change and Existence ♥
I really don't understand the people around me. I want to change because I know it would make my life to live in harmony and gain the peace that I've been wanting to. I know it would create such a shit of me because I was the noisy-bossy-useless creature in this world I guess. Then suddenly all of this freakin' people keep on asking me why there was a sudden change of me. Hello? Can't you see people? I'm changing because I know it won't complicate me. I know every changed there was a reason behind.
I changed because I've learned something horrible stuffs on my group. The dance troupe to be precised. I've learned that every word we speak to others was just part of our momentum which we are stuck with and never risked your trust if that would cost much of your ego and pride.
C'mon! I'm sucked with you people who never really (i guess) know the meaning of those words and counting on the respect. Why can't you just be yourself. Tell the people of this war-freak world who you are, what are your role, why you have to do certain things and stuffs like that.
I'm telling you..I maybe a shit but you all sucked. Fakers! Well I guess from now on, I should bombarded my damn head with the thought that dance because it's my passion not because you want to be part of their world. I want to be straightforward as much as possible and tell the things who makes sense.
Bespren no more, its just an endearment anyways why take it seriously. Pity? The hell I care for the lives of others who doesn't matter to me. Not to be selfish but I don't want to lie my self anymore.
Rock my ass!
January 1, 2010
♥ Welcome 2010 ♥
Welcome 2010! Don't mess with me okay? I have big dreams at stake. I think I don't need a new year's resolution because I am happy to strive for my standards and I don't think I will ever regret then. Though I prayed somehow that before I bid goodbye to 2009 I can have someone who will joined me as I witnessed the ever of new year. Hahai..but it's still a long way to go. I can wait! ♥
Another year and I'm turning 22 soon...as in so soon. ♥♥♥
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