Ok, due to the health of his grandmother..they leave last night for Baloi to spend the last minute of his grandmother. I was so stunned when he went up on me to say they were leaving. A news that I so much hate! How sad for his lola but death is inevitable.
We were texting then til 11 am becuase he asked me to sleep na and so I did. By around 1 am I woke up and I checked my fon, I replied to his message..
Amer: Miz u.. :(
Me: :’(
Amer: smile lang tah para safe..
Me: ganun na nga..wag nating hayaan manalo ang lungkot sa oras nato. Sakit sa hart!
Amer: pls, don’t reply hap? :( Mamimiz kita higit. Hap? Sleep na..pls?
Me: mas gusto ko mag reply, sori? Labyu mahal ko. Smile na tau. C’mon na! iiyak bb mu pag di ka mag smile.
Amer: :( labyu!
Me: hehehe.. opo. Kinilig tuloy aq. Mahal lang talaga kita Amer. :D
Amer: hahahaha..labyu mahal ko. Pasaway! Nah sleep na hap?
Me: labyu..labyu..labyu..
Amer: nah! Di ko mapigil maka reply nito..Cge nah bb hap? Don’t repz..pls naman?
Right now, I don’t want to recognize the sad feelings because it won’t do me any good. He was hoping to bring me with him last night but the happenings were to fast that the two of us can’t even think of what the right thing to do. I wasn’t even able to hug him.
Just take care of your self there mahal ko and spend time with your loving lola.
September 24, 2010
Priceless Happiness! ♥
Today, I woke up with a very-not-so-happy-heart. Yes, I admit my paranoid mind touches my jealous heart these past days. Which I rarely felt in-spite of my me-myself-and-I attitude (human nature).
But later this afternoon, I felt an ease and joy that I wished to feel everyday but life is a constant change indeed and deal with it!
I would be hypocrite if I say not even half of my happiness was not a product of him. No! Because I would absolutely say, he is one of my priceless happiness everyday. He was like my daily supplement of happy vitamins.
I’m not saying this because I was in the state of love but with all honesty? I’m saying this because this is the reality within me. Every second, minute, hours, days that I am with him was like a renewal of self. A ray of hope and faith.
The way we discuss things out of our feelings teaches me to be open minded which I am struggling with because I was not perhaps. I always put myself into one dimension that I found myself suffocated on my own little bubble. When we discuss such issues (especially on me), he never embarks or never put into consideration that I am her special someone and so he have to take my side on this. No! If he knew I was faced with controversial issues primarily on my group, he guides me always. He’s my compass to come up with a proper decision making.
It hurts on my part though when he says ‘May ka-away ka? Sinu na naman ka-away mo?’, really it hurts because he was like accusing me that I am a trouble-maker. But he taught me to be open-minded and he knows I’m not. Though he admits that I am ‘maldita’. It goes to show that I am not perfect, just a vulnerable human being but he sees me almost close to perfection.
The priceless happiness there? When my family finally sees his good heart. Papa said when we are having a worship, Amer was right daw. Every human has its shadow but that shadow can only be moved by you. I was even touched on how my mom treats Amer now. Yes, my mom and I has been to a tug-of-war situation because of our relationship (Amer). During those times, my heart was coated with anger and grudges, not knowing the real feelings of Amer during those times. I even cried in-front of him about it, begging him to say what he felt but the only thing he said? ‘Masyado mo kasing dinidibdib ang lahat ng bagay, magiging ok din to at okay lang ako. Ikaw lang ang iniisip ko..’
God it breaks my heart! But he was right, we just let things fall to its proper places and here we are now. We have a healthy relationship with our parents and both parties! I know Amer is not so good in comprehending my skills such as this but his understanding to the reality around him makes me say ‘I wish half of his thinking can be inherited by me..’, if not let our kids be! :)
T’was really made my day filled with a priceless happiness. Thank you Lord for sharing him on me. We just owe everything to you to where we are now.
Before we bid goodnight to each other, I was so touched the moment that he hugged me and say.. I miss you! I don’t know why it just made me feel so special or I guess I’ve waited for these past days for him to say it.
But later this afternoon, I felt an ease and joy that I wished to feel everyday but life is a constant change indeed and deal with it!
I would be hypocrite if I say not even half of my happiness was not a product of him. No! Because I would absolutely say, he is one of my priceless happiness everyday. He was like my daily supplement of happy vitamins.
I’m not saying this because I was in the state of love but with all honesty? I’m saying this because this is the reality within me. Every second, minute, hours, days that I am with him was like a renewal of self. A ray of hope and faith.
The way we discuss things out of our feelings teaches me to be open minded which I am struggling with because I was not perhaps. I always put myself into one dimension that I found myself suffocated on my own little bubble. When we discuss such issues (especially on me), he never embarks or never put into consideration that I am her special someone and so he have to take my side on this. No! If he knew I was faced with controversial issues primarily on my group, he guides me always. He’s my compass to come up with a proper decision making.
It hurts on my part though when he says ‘May ka-away ka? Sinu na naman ka-away mo?’, really it hurts because he was like accusing me that I am a trouble-maker. But he taught me to be open-minded and he knows I’m not. Though he admits that I am ‘maldita’. It goes to show that I am not perfect, just a vulnerable human being but he sees me almost close to perfection.
The priceless happiness there? When my family finally sees his good heart. Papa said when we are having a worship, Amer was right daw. Every human has its shadow but that shadow can only be moved by you. I was even touched on how my mom treats Amer now. Yes, my mom and I has been to a tug-of-war situation because of our relationship (Amer). During those times, my heart was coated with anger and grudges, not knowing the real feelings of Amer during those times. I even cried in-front of him about it, begging him to say what he felt but the only thing he said? ‘Masyado mo kasing dinidibdib ang lahat ng bagay, magiging ok din to at okay lang ako. Ikaw lang ang iniisip ko..’
God it breaks my heart! But he was right, we just let things fall to its proper places and here we are now. We have a healthy relationship with our parents and both parties! I know Amer is not so good in comprehending my skills such as this but his understanding to the reality around him makes me say ‘I wish half of his thinking can be inherited by me..’, if not let our kids be! :)
T’was really made my day filled with a priceless happiness. Thank you Lord for sharing him on me. We just owe everything to you to where we are now.
Before we bid goodnight to each other, I was so touched the moment that he hugged me and say.. I miss you! I don’t know why it just made me feel so special or I guess I’ve waited for these past days for him to say it.
Oldies But Goodies! ♥
God knows I prayed for someone..
Who will say… “You are beautiful!”.
Who will say… “Sex can wait!”.
Whom I’m not afraid to cry in-front of him.
Who will hold my hand for no apparent reason.
Who will hug me when I’m sad and for no reason at all.
Who will stare at me just because he can’t take his eyes off on me.
Who will wait for me outside just to see me.
Who will cuddle me like a baby.
…and God answered my prayer as you all know. It was him who welcomed my fantasy into reality. It was him who win me back from my saddest misery. It was him who build great friendship outside the relationship. It was him who would rather give up the argument just because he wants to give me a sweet dreams. It was him who loves to listen to my unfulfilled dreams.
Now I want him…
To see in bed when I wake up every morning.
To be my last companion every night.
To be the father of my future children.
To be the grandfather of our grandchildren.
To be the man whom I’ll give the word “I do!”
..yesterday we celebrated another month of friendship and love. We’re still in-love just like yesterday! It was simple but the very special celebration that we have so far. We just had a walk to the beach. Spent the whole afternoon and evening at the beach laughing, giggling, teasing, cuddling…all the lovers happiness! Looking at him, holding each others hands makes me say, ‘I want to spend the rest of my life with you Amer..’
I hope our endearment Lolo-Lola will absolutely give as the ticket to a lifetime happiness. I want to sit with him on a hammock (just as the picture shows), while talking to our grandchildren the tale of our love-story.
Thank you Lord for guiding us as always. For guiding us with Love and Respect for each other and hope to be the oldies but goodies just as the photos up there.
Who will say… “You are beautiful!”.
Who will say… “Sex can wait!”.
Whom I’m not afraid to cry in-front of him.
Who will hold my hand for no apparent reason.
Who will hug me when I’m sad and for no reason at all.
Who will stare at me just because he can’t take his eyes off on me.
Who will wait for me outside just to see me.
Who will cuddle me like a baby.
…and God answered my prayer as you all know. It was him who welcomed my fantasy into reality. It was him who win me back from my saddest misery. It was him who build great friendship outside the relationship. It was him who would rather give up the argument just because he wants to give me a sweet dreams. It was him who loves to listen to my unfulfilled dreams.
Now I want him…
To see in bed when I wake up every morning.
To be my last companion every night.
To be the father of my future children.
To be the grandfather of our grandchildren.
To be the man whom I’ll give the word “I do!”
..yesterday we celebrated another month of friendship and love. We’re still in-love just like yesterday! It was simple but the very special celebration that we have so far. We just had a walk to the beach. Spent the whole afternoon and evening at the beach laughing, giggling, teasing, cuddling…all the lovers happiness! Looking at him, holding each others hands makes me say, ‘I want to spend the rest of my life with you Amer..’
I hope our endearment Lolo-Lola will absolutely give as the ticket to a lifetime happiness. I want to sit with him on a hammock (just as the picture shows), while talking to our grandchildren the tale of our love-story.
Thank you Lord for guiding us as always. For guiding us with Love and Respect for each other and hope to be the oldies but goodies just as the photos up there.
I Love It! ♥
I love it…when he texts me ‘labyu bb!’ even if I’m just next to him.
I love it…when he says ‘Mataid!’ though I felt most of the time I’m not.
I love it..when he held me close in his arms and say ‘Ang bango mo!’ even if I did not take a bath yet.
I love it…when he pinches my armpit and say ‘Gusto ko yung kili-kili mo!’ though it’s so weird.
I love it…when he jokes about my get-ups even if it means ‘I hate seeing you wearing that!’
I love it…when he says ‘Time to sleep na bb..tabi ako hap?’ even if he didn’t slept beside me at all.
I love it…when he leaves a note on my phone and it would just snooze, to see it was just his note reminding me how much he loves me.
I love it…when says ‘Sorry!’ even if t’was my fault.
I love it…when he said ‘Uyab baya kita, kung may probs ka problema ko rin!’
I love it…when he hugs me in times that I’m not ok and say ‘Ok lang yan bb, labyu!’
I just love it…when he just hold my hand and would not say anything.
and then I’ll say…‘I love it when I say, I love you Amer!’ ♥
I love it…when he says ‘Mataid!’ though I felt most of the time I’m not.
I love it..when he held me close in his arms and say ‘Ang bango mo!’ even if I did not take a bath yet.
I love it…when he pinches my armpit and say ‘Gusto ko yung kili-kili mo!’ though it’s so weird.
I love it…when he jokes about my get-ups even if it means ‘I hate seeing you wearing that!’
I love it…when he says ‘Time to sleep na bb..tabi ako hap?’ even if he didn’t slept beside me at all.
I love it…when he leaves a note on my phone and it would just snooze, to see it was just his note reminding me how much he loves me.
I love it…when says ‘Sorry!’ even if t’was my fault.
I love it…when he said ‘Uyab baya kita, kung may probs ka problema ko rin!’
I love it…when he hugs me in times that I’m not ok and say ‘Ok lang yan bb, labyu!’
I just love it…when he just hold my hand and would not say anything.
and then I’ll say…‘I love it when I say, I love you Amer!’ ♥
Today, Amer and I were heading somewhere. He’ll leave for Baloi (he’s birth place) and me to Butuan and Surigao. But before we leave for a vacation, we spend time together and I just want to share our bonding last night and just this morning.
Last night we had a movie watch. We watched Wrong Turn 11 which was so creepy, kelan ba naging smooth yung wrong turn? Hehehehe..anyways, after watching I sit closely beside him. He just gave me a look. I sigh softly…
Me: Mer? (sigh)
Amer: (giving me a wonder look) ha?
Me: (speaking softly and kinda shy) Nagugutom ako..
Amer: (laughing) Ay sus! Kala ko kung anu..
(exchange of words sweetly and then leaves..)
After a minute he’s back and then handed me a tuna can, sadly t’was hot ‘n spicy whom I don’t like eating then. But gotta have no choice but to eat it because I’m starving. Him watching pa rin and then I sit beside him again..
Me: Mer? Sino gising sa inyo? Tambay tayu dun sa labas niyo..(at the back of my mind I was saying, kain tayu ng salad dahil ang anghang maxado nung tuna, maawa ka!)
Amer: (good thing he initiated it) Ha? Milagro! Hehehehe..tara para maka kain ka rin ng salad.
Hahahahahaha..so happy for that. Labyu Lolo, my tummy and heart was oh so full last night kahit ni lock ni ate yung gate. Urgh!
This morning, he went sa bahay around 10 and we watched One More Chance. You know the Bea-John Lloyd movie that can tear your heart. While the movie is rolling and t’was the part were Bea said ‘Ako..ako na lang ulit!’. I talked to him..
Me: Mer? Panu kung sabihan ka nang ex mo niyan? (with a curious and heart pumping heart)
Amer: Eh, ewan.
Me: Ka dry! Hahahaha..kung ako sasampalin ko talaga. (lol)
Amer: Sasabihin ko anung na kain mo?
Me: Hahahahahahaha..baka love capsule.
You know simple things but can definitely save a day. We’re both aware that we are leaving and we just make the best out of it. I love it when he texts me ‘Labyu lola!’ even if I’m just next to him. It moves me to be teary eyed when he would just squeeze my hand at the silence of the momentum. The way he held me tightly on his arms and kiss my shoulders makes me want to just be held in his arms forever.
I love you Lolo Amer, see yah as soon as we are home. Next week will be our special day and I know both of us are looking forward to it. We’ve planned for it though!
If I just knew it would be fine for your parents to go with you then I’d choose to go with you than the trip of our group. Char! Hahahahaha..labyu!
Last night we had a movie watch. We watched Wrong Turn 11 which was so creepy, kelan ba naging smooth yung wrong turn? Hehehehe..anyways, after watching I sit closely beside him. He just gave me a look. I sigh softly…
Me: Mer? (sigh)
Amer: (giving me a wonder look) ha?
Me: (speaking softly and kinda shy) Nagugutom ako..
Amer: (laughing) Ay sus! Kala ko kung anu..
(exchange of words sweetly and then leaves..)
After a minute he’s back and then handed me a tuna can, sadly t’was hot ‘n spicy whom I don’t like eating then. But gotta have no choice but to eat it because I’m starving. Him watching pa rin and then I sit beside him again..
Me: Mer? Sino gising sa inyo? Tambay tayu dun sa labas niyo..(at the back of my mind I was saying, kain tayu ng salad dahil ang anghang maxado nung tuna, maawa ka!)
Amer: (good thing he initiated it) Ha? Milagro! Hehehehe..tara para maka kain ka rin ng salad.
Hahahahahaha..so happy for that. Labyu Lolo, my tummy and heart was oh so full last night kahit ni lock ni ate yung gate. Urgh!
This morning, he went sa bahay around 10 and we watched One More Chance. You know the Bea-John Lloyd movie that can tear your heart. While the movie is rolling and t’was the part were Bea said ‘Ako..ako na lang ulit!’. I talked to him..
Me: Mer? Panu kung sabihan ka nang ex mo niyan? (with a curious and heart pumping heart)
Amer: Eh, ewan.
Me: Ka dry! Hahahaha..kung ako sasampalin ko talaga. (lol)
Amer: Sasabihin ko anung na kain mo?
Me: Hahahahahahaha..baka love capsule.
You know simple things but can definitely save a day. We’re both aware that we are leaving and we just make the best out of it. I love it when he texts me ‘Labyu lola!’ even if I’m just next to him. It moves me to be teary eyed when he would just squeeze my hand at the silence of the momentum. The way he held me tightly on his arms and kiss my shoulders makes me want to just be held in his arms forever.
I love you Lolo Amer, see yah as soon as we are home. Next week will be our special day and I know both of us are looking forward to it. We’ve planned for it though!
If I just knew it would be fine for your parents to go with you then I’d choose to go with you than the trip of our group. Char! Hahahahaha..labyu!
Cry of Anger! ♥
T’was a rainy Thursday afternoon, I can hear the rain drops as it kisses our rooftop. I’m chatting right now and then suddenly my eyes filled with tears. I don’t know how to ponder my emotions lately. I easily get tired, get bored, my crybaby attitude visits me again.
I’m chatting with him and I definitely poured out my anger towards the people around us. One thing that sucks with him is his attitude that ‘bahala-na’ or ‘no-comment’ or he’s just good in keeping his emotions. I value his good attitude but not all the time we have to be good, right? Sometimes we have to be stupid in order for us to realize that this is reality, this is where we are trapped now!
I want him to open his eyes and even for just a sec he would try to say what he felt and voice out what would better for us. He may be a happy-go-lucky, yes-to-go-guy but I don’t want my side to perceive that attitude to be his normal one. I chose him because I know he has the heart that I want to.
Tell me, how could it be fair? Me and him just inside our home chatting and watching flicks that sometimes sucks or these two creature staying outside our house the whole night? Our parents would always remind us that we should be very careful with our actions to avoid the gossips of the neighborhood..hello? Where’s the fairness in it? And now they would treat as if we are a fugitive.
I’m mad! Upset! Galit ako! I’ve been keeping my anger the whole time but just this afternoon I can no longer hold on to it! My whole life I tried my very best not to disappoint my parents. He would tell me to understand my parents now because they were only parents. The heck! No way! I need more now their understanding.
I’m sorry for saying this but my emotions were to high that I’d better blog for now. Because I don’t know where to turn to? I’m lost! Yun bang pakiramdam mo na pinagkakaisahan ka ng mundo na ang tanging taong madadamayan mo di mo pa madamaya dahil hindi mo alam kung anung nararamdaman din niya at nasa isip niya.
..and I can’t help but cry! :’(
I’m chatting with him and I definitely poured out my anger towards the people around us. One thing that sucks with him is his attitude that ‘bahala-na’ or ‘no-comment’ or he’s just good in keeping his emotions. I value his good attitude but not all the time we have to be good, right? Sometimes we have to be stupid in order for us to realize that this is reality, this is where we are trapped now!
I want him to open his eyes and even for just a sec he would try to say what he felt and voice out what would better for us. He may be a happy-go-lucky, yes-to-go-guy but I don’t want my side to perceive that attitude to be his normal one. I chose him because I know he has the heart that I want to.
Tell me, how could it be fair? Me and him just inside our home chatting and watching flicks that sometimes sucks or these two creature staying outside our house the whole night? Our parents would always remind us that we should be very careful with our actions to avoid the gossips of the neighborhood..hello? Where’s the fairness in it? And now they would treat as if we are a fugitive.
I’m mad! Upset! Galit ako! I’ve been keeping my anger the whole time but just this afternoon I can no longer hold on to it! My whole life I tried my very best not to disappoint my parents. He would tell me to understand my parents now because they were only parents. The heck! No way! I need more now their understanding.
I’m sorry for saying this but my emotions were to high that I’d better blog for now. Because I don’t know where to turn to? I’m lost! Yun bang pakiramdam mo na pinagkakaisahan ka ng mundo na ang tanging taong madadamayan mo di mo pa madamaya dahil hindi mo alam kung anung nararamdaman din niya at nasa isip niya.
..and I can’t help but cry! :’(
I Love You Game! ♥
We were having kulitan when I told him to play an I Love You game with me. The rule was, state I love You word in 5 languages. I did it first..
- Pakabyaan nakun saka!
- Mahal kita!
- Gihigugma taka!
- *damn I forgot the fourth word..hahahahaha.
- Te amo!
Then its his turn..
(silence) then he said he doesn’t know any language except their language and tagalog. Hahahahahaha..I convinced him to try. Then me, nagyayabang that I won because I got 5 languages of an I love You word. Teasing him!
We were at Alvin’s car when we were playing that. We were supposed to get out of the car and me still keep on teasing him that he lost the game. He then suddenly stops me and say that he got an answer to it.
But you know what he did? He kissed me on the cheeks, just like at the photos and said, ‘yun ang sagot ko!’ Then I’m loss of words. Clearly I was the one who lose the game. Flang!
- Pakabyaan nakun saka!
- Mahal kita!
- Gihigugma taka!
- *damn I forgot the fourth word..hahahahaha.
- Te amo!
Then its his turn..
(silence) then he said he doesn’t know any language except their language and tagalog. Hahahahahaha..I convinced him to try. Then me, nagyayabang that I won because I got 5 languages of an I love You word. Teasing him!
We were at Alvin’s car when we were playing that. We were supposed to get out of the car and me still keep on teasing him that he lost the game. He then suddenly stops me and say that he got an answer to it.
But you know what he did? He kissed me on the cheeks, just like at the photos and said, ‘yun ang sagot ko!’ Then I’m loss of words. Clearly I was the one who lose the game. Flang!
Sorry seems to be the Sweetest Word! ♥
“SORRY is the hardest word to say but it can change everything!”
Exactly it is! I was so pissed with Amer last Sunday night because of what he did. (can’t say the reason) I don’t know why he did that thing but he has his reasons and I got mine.
The next day which was Monday, I can’t just ignore him because his 3 cute-little siblings were with me. I just acted I was not pissed, that I’m just fine. But deep inside I want to speak up to him and confront him about it.
That night he texted me with all those papansin text so I asked him to come by on us since it was just me and Gaga outside. I ask him to say something or explain himself to us. He doesn’t have any idea at all why he had to explain himself. Then I speak up..details..details..details.
I told him all the things that I wanted to say. I was thinking then and prepared myself if his gonna defend his side after all may taray tone but darn on earth I felt so loss of words when all he had to say is ‘SORRY’. Gaga and I were left with a smile on our faces and the angst that I’ve felt for him replaced with a huge smile on my face. The only thing that Gaga said, ‘How sweet…’
Unlike other couples if I may say, that their gonna raise their voice until it leads to a major fight. On his part he accepted his fault without clearing his part why he did it. I’m writing this now but I don’t know what are the exact words to say about that.
Masama man mag compare pero napaisip talaga ako. Sa mga naging uyab ko, siya lang yung pag may gusto ka klaruhin o di kaya may gusto kang sabihin na alam mong mali..siya lang yung di nagtataas ng boses at tinatanggap yung mga pagkakamali na karamihan sa lalaki di natatanggap pag alam nilang pwedi naman nilang madepensaan yung sarili nila. Ewan ko ba mahirap i.explain, common sense na lang. Hehehehe..
Now I’m in love again..we were star gazing outside when a falling star have shown. Before it appeared I ‘m talking to myself with all those blah-blah-blah. But whatever that blah-blah-blah were, crossfinger I swear to God ‘sana!’
Sorry was the sweetest word that night!
Exactly it is! I was so pissed with Amer last Sunday night because of what he did. (can’t say the reason) I don’t know why he did that thing but he has his reasons and I got mine.
The next day which was Monday, I can’t just ignore him because his 3 cute-little siblings were with me. I just acted I was not pissed, that I’m just fine. But deep inside I want to speak up to him and confront him about it.
That night he texted me with all those papansin text so I asked him to come by on us since it was just me and Gaga outside. I ask him to say something or explain himself to us. He doesn’t have any idea at all why he had to explain himself. Then I speak up..details..details..details.
I told him all the things that I wanted to say. I was thinking then and prepared myself if his gonna defend his side after all may taray tone but darn on earth I felt so loss of words when all he had to say is ‘SORRY’. Gaga and I were left with a smile on our faces and the angst that I’ve felt for him replaced with a huge smile on my face. The only thing that Gaga said, ‘How sweet…’
Unlike other couples if I may say, that their gonna raise their voice until it leads to a major fight. On his part he accepted his fault without clearing his part why he did it. I’m writing this now but I don’t know what are the exact words to say about that.
Masama man mag compare pero napaisip talaga ako. Sa mga naging uyab ko, siya lang yung pag may gusto ka klaruhin o di kaya may gusto kang sabihin na alam mong mali..siya lang yung di nagtataas ng boses at tinatanggap yung mga pagkakamali na karamihan sa lalaki di natatanggap pag alam nilang pwedi naman nilang madepensaan yung sarili nila. Ewan ko ba mahirap i.explain, common sense na lang. Hehehehe..
Now I’m in love again..we were star gazing outside when a falling star have shown. Before it appeared I ‘m talking to myself with all those blah-blah-blah. But whatever that blah-blah-blah were, crossfinger I swear to God ‘sana!’
Sorry was the sweetest word that night!
“Its nice to know when someone waits for you to come home not because he wants to hug you but because he wants to know if your safe.”
- thanks for the walk last night Amer..love you lolo! I just miss being with you, seeing you everyday is way too different than being with each other holding hands and hugging each other.
- thanks for the walk last night Amer..love you lolo! I just miss being with you, seeing you everyday is way too different than being with each other holding hands and hugging each other.
It's all on the Wall! ♥
I just find myself yesterday in tears so early in the morning. I cried in a sense that I did not take my breakfast because I lost my appetite with this burden I have. Adding on the net got busted yesterday so there was no contact with my bessies and lolo Amer. But everything went so flawless this morning because of the wall post on my wall and on Amer’s wall.
Amer post on my wall yesterday: God knows anything..LULA. (Luv U Lola Adding)
I replied: ..he does. Hahai..kapoy na mag sige og huna2x. Labyu lolo.
Before logging out I post on his wall: ..i miss you and I need you. :(
He replied: I need you and I miss you. ^_^
Ooh! That thing on our wall completed my day. Simple things but it can change my mood into a thousand smiles. Just this evening he watched with me and my family a movie, bonus na yun. I’m thankful for this day because Amer reminded me again that when things around me fail..thats the time I can count on him twice. For now the only people who understands me are my family, bessies and Amer.
I’ll try to be okay anyway.
Amer post on my wall yesterday: God knows anything..LULA. (Luv U Lola Adding)
I replied: ..he does. Hahai..kapoy na mag sige og huna2x. Labyu lolo.
Before logging out I post on his wall: ..i miss you and I need you. :(
He replied: I need you and I miss you. ^_^
Ooh! That thing on our wall completed my day. Simple things but it can change my mood into a thousand smiles. Just this evening he watched with me and my family a movie, bonus na yun. I’m thankful for this day because Amer reminded me again that when things around me fail..thats the time I can count on him twice. For now the only people who understands me are my family, bessies and Amer.
I’ll try to be okay anyway.
A Blessing to Cry! ♥
I cried the other night with a feeling of bothered and distracted. I was to bothered by Amer’s behavior these past few days. I know he is the person who jokes a lot but aloof most of the time. Pero never ako na bother with his attitude na ganyan.
I saw him last Wednesday outside their house, pero iba yung pakiramdam ko when I saw him that aftie. I went up on him and everything turns out right but at the back of my mind I know there is something wrong. And so i’d just go on.
Thursday evening, I get even more distracted with his behavior na. I asked him but he insisted everything was fine. I sent him a message on FB about my sentiments and concerns about our nature. He replied but I was not convinced by it. Confrontation and clarification happened last night and it turns out well, thank God!
Whatever reasons he gave why we were caught on that situation was a lesson for me and for him as well. I always tell myself that the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E and I’m doing my best to gave him when I was not hooked by my schedule. I know he did it intentionally but he made me cry unintentionally and by nature I was a crybaby you know. He made me cry a lot of times na but not a tears of pain but most of it a tears of joy.
Our relationship was not perfect. We have our flaws but we were just so good in patching our downfalls. We never raised our voice when someone would want to say something and we openly shares our emotion. So, it goes to show that the R-E-S-P-E-C-T is there.
Ang gusto ko lang naman talaga sabihin niya sa akin kung may mali sa mga ginagawa at kilos ko. I kept on telling him na I’m not perfect. I really value it pag pinagsasabihan niya ako because through it I can see that I do exist in his eyes not by my good acts but more of my bad acts and thats what he did last night.
My tears never blamed him of what had happened, its just a wake up call that were just rolling the string of our relationship no matter how much we loved each other. It has been a blessing to cry for him. Love you lolo Amer!
* naku Amer, ang hirap kaya na I want to hug you but I just can’t because papa was there..
I saw him last Wednesday outside their house, pero iba yung pakiramdam ko when I saw him that aftie. I went up on him and everything turns out right but at the back of my mind I know there is something wrong. And so i’d just go on.
Thursday evening, I get even more distracted with his behavior na. I asked him but he insisted everything was fine. I sent him a message on FB about my sentiments and concerns about our nature. He replied but I was not convinced by it. Confrontation and clarification happened last night and it turns out well, thank God!
Whatever reasons he gave why we were caught on that situation was a lesson for me and for him as well. I always tell myself that the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E and I’m doing my best to gave him when I was not hooked by my schedule. I know he did it intentionally but he made me cry unintentionally and by nature I was a crybaby you know. He made me cry a lot of times na but not a tears of pain but most of it a tears of joy.
Our relationship was not perfect. We have our flaws but we were just so good in patching our downfalls. We never raised our voice when someone would want to say something and we openly shares our emotion. So, it goes to show that the R-E-S-P-E-C-T is there.
Ang gusto ko lang naman talaga sabihin niya sa akin kung may mali sa mga ginagawa at kilos ko. I kept on telling him na I’m not perfect. I really value it pag pinagsasabihan niya ako because through it I can see that I do exist in his eyes not by my good acts but more of my bad acts and thats what he did last night.
My tears never blamed him of what had happened, its just a wake up call that were just rolling the string of our relationship no matter how much we loved each other. It has been a blessing to cry for him. Love you lolo Amer!
* naku Amer, ang hirap kaya na I want to hug you but I just can’t because papa was there..
Oh well, we’ve just had a lot of talks more on our family. I really value and loved the moments whenever he shared something about his family and me on the other hand who rarely shares about the life of our family because I’m such an introverted person.
Sharing something that deals with family was not really my thing. It takes much courage of me to open up about it but I don’t know where I grabbed the guts to share then. Maybe because he’s vocal about the whereabouts of their family and he gave me a feeling that okay-adding-I -loved-to-listen.
When we were left with the noise of the waves, I was thinking what if this guy would be my heaven sent for real? How would be my life living in a world that is way to far from the world I was into. Does the values and traits that we used to when growing may affect our lives beyond the love? Muslim-Christian values.
I was staring at him whenever his mind wanders anywhere then looking back on my life before having him. I even wonder what’s on his mind when his all alone and chose to be in solitude.
Then on..days, months are not the basis of a long relationship. It goes beyond time that exist in your happiness being together and on how you respect each others individuality. Celebrating that day for sure was not an ordinary day but a day to remember with a thankful heart. I’m always thankful to God.
That day became even more sweeter because we filled it with an ‘Ice Cream!’
Sharing something that deals with family was not really my thing. It takes much courage of me to open up about it but I don’t know where I grabbed the guts to share then. Maybe because he’s vocal about the whereabouts of their family and he gave me a feeling that okay-adding-I -loved-to-listen.
When we were left with the noise of the waves, I was thinking what if this guy would be my heaven sent for real? How would be my life living in a world that is way to far from the world I was into. Does the values and traits that we used to when growing may affect our lives beyond the love? Muslim-Christian values.
I was staring at him whenever his mind wanders anywhere then looking back on my life before having him. I even wonder what’s on his mind when his all alone and chose to be in solitude.
Then on..days, months are not the basis of a long relationship. It goes beyond time that exist in your happiness being together and on how you respect each others individuality. Celebrating that day for sure was not an ordinary day but a day to remember with a thankful heart. I’m always thankful to God.
That day became even more sweeter because we filled it with an ‘Ice Cream!’
It's All on the Sidebar! ♥
Last Monday night, I logged in to check some mails on my FB. I was busy surfing some pictures when I came across to visit Amer’s FB account. Then on I saw his sidebar again, before the one written was ‘L=ove O=nly L=ola O=k’ and now it was..
‘LULA = Luv U Lol(♥_♥)adding.’
Naks naman! I was so touched because I really appreciate his effort to do those kind of stuffs. I know only few people especially boys post that thingy on the side bar of their FB. The best thing about him, he never fails to appreciate my existence.
When I was in Manila and I was left all alone in the room. I kept on thinking about him and ask God, what on earth I have done for me to bless me this very heaven sent blessings? Blessed with my dance life, I’m blessed to have my bessies and friends, I’m even blessed to have my family and more than that to be blessed by God with someone named ‘Amer Lumna’.
The fact that his family accepts the reality between us, makes it more a blessing. Every conversation I have with his siblings was a poured blessing for me. Why not? The feeling of acceptance was there and I never doubted it.
Now I’m even more so touched because Mama said he likes Amer, whew! Sarap naman, I’m not the only one in the family who sees his good heart. Mabait naman talaga siya at dun ko siya mas lalong minahal.
But he doesn’t know that there were times that I cried at night not because I was in pain but in gladness. I cried while I pray and thanking and asking God why do I deserve this and why do I deserve him? Am I that worthy for him? Do I’m being unfair in this relationship na? I’m always busy with my dance life, I told him about it but he only sighs, as long as I’m enjoying in every endeavor I take he’ll always be there for me.
Our group will go to Butuan this week and it depends upon us if we will go or not. Whether our choreographer will insist me to go, I’ll have my final decision. I’m not going, I’ll stay with Amer and we’ll spend the 2 days together before he leaves for Marawi and me for Bukidnon.
Then just this afternoon, I put on my side bar… ‘I ♥ Amer Lumna!’
‘LULA = Luv U Lol(♥_♥)adding.’
Naks naman! I was so touched because I really appreciate his effort to do those kind of stuffs. I know only few people especially boys post that thingy on the side bar of their FB. The best thing about him, he never fails to appreciate my existence.
When I was in Manila and I was left all alone in the room. I kept on thinking about him and ask God, what on earth I have done for me to bless me this very heaven sent blessings? Blessed with my dance life, I’m blessed to have my bessies and friends, I’m even blessed to have my family and more than that to be blessed by God with someone named ‘Amer Lumna’.
The fact that his family accepts the reality between us, makes it more a blessing. Every conversation I have with his siblings was a poured blessing for me. Why not? The feeling of acceptance was there and I never doubted it.
Now I’m even more so touched because Mama said he likes Amer, whew! Sarap naman, I’m not the only one in the family who sees his good heart. Mabait naman talaga siya at dun ko siya mas lalong minahal.
But he doesn’t know that there were times that I cried at night not because I was in pain but in gladness. I cried while I pray and thanking and asking God why do I deserve this and why do I deserve him? Am I that worthy for him? Do I’m being unfair in this relationship na? I’m always busy with my dance life, I told him about it but he only sighs, as long as I’m enjoying in every endeavor I take he’ll always be there for me.
Our group will go to Butuan this week and it depends upon us if we will go or not. Whether our choreographer will insist me to go, I’ll have my final decision. I’m not going, I’ll stay with Amer and we’ll spend the 2 days together before he leaves for Marawi and me for Bukidnon.
Then just this afternoon, I put on my side bar… ‘I ♥ Amer Lumna!’
I Miss You! :'(
I thought this would be easy but my heart is oh so longing for Lolo right now. Everytime we text, I never told him ‘I miss you’ but deep inside I super-duper miss his company. His wacky jokes, our trash joke to each other that makes us a kid, my coffee and ice cream mate will be gone for a month. How am I gonna deal with that? Oh well, my dance life fill it in but not all the time. Sometimes when rehearsing I just found myself staring at some point thinking already about him.
His sister told me its just a month, yes it is but ewan ko ba. You know the long-distance syndrome? Feel me! Hahahahahahaha..I’m going through that I guess. Maybe because when I woke up every morning, he welcomes it with a smile in his heart. When I came home from rehearsal, his smile draining off the stresses in me.
You know simple things that the other person fails to see, but it does really pleases me by his simple acts. Just a sit in the corner sharing a cup of coffee even without having a talk means a lot to me. Just having him around, feeling his presence, the way he holds my hand was like saying ‘I won’t ever let go..’ and giving him a hug was more of saying ‘I won’t even let go…’ makes the moment worthwhile.
Okay, I accept the defeat of missing someone. I’ll take that challenge! The distance makes me even fall for him and this relationship.
Tomorrow is our special day. It’s the birth of our relationship! That even makes me miss him, we’re not together to celebrate that special day though. We even extend the distance because I’ll be in Davao and he’s in Marawi. Ouch! I’m not expecting any surprises tomorrow but I know for sure when things fall into normal, we’ll make it up.
I miss you Lolo Amer Ko!
His sister told me its just a month, yes it is but ewan ko ba. You know the long-distance syndrome? Feel me! Hahahahahahaha..I’m going through that I guess. Maybe because when I woke up every morning, he welcomes it with a smile in his heart. When I came home from rehearsal, his smile draining off the stresses in me.
You know simple things that the other person fails to see, but it does really pleases me by his simple acts. Just a sit in the corner sharing a cup of coffee even without having a talk means a lot to me. Just having him around, feeling his presence, the way he holds my hand was like saying ‘I won’t ever let go..’ and giving him a hug was more of saying ‘I won’t even let go…’ makes the moment worthwhile.
Okay, I accept the defeat of missing someone. I’ll take that challenge! The distance makes me even fall for him and this relationship.
Tomorrow is our special day. It’s the birth of our relationship! That even makes me miss him, we’re not together to celebrate that special day though. We even extend the distance because I’ll be in Davao and he’s in Marawi. Ouch! I’m not expecting any surprises tomorrow but I know for sure when things fall into normal, we’ll make it up.
I miss you Lolo Amer Ko!
Meet thy Family! ♥
OMG! Just this evening I was about to go to our neighbors house when Lainie, the sister of Amer called me. I thought she was just gonna ask me or what about certain stuffs but darn! She wants to have a talk with me along with their wacky family. I felt like I was clawed by a trap or something.
Amer was there of course, they keep on asking things like ‘Anu nagustuhan ko kay Amer?’, ‘Naka ilang uyab na ba ako?’, ‘Hindi ba ako natatakot na Maranao sila’, I was like ‘Wait! I’m not ready for this, AMER!’. I know Amer felt so embarrassed about the questions that his sister and his cousin has for me. Adding on the meeting that I have with the parents of Amer. Grabe! I felt like half of my body was on its grave nah. OMG! His father was so good that he made an effort to introduce me to his children (though I knew them nah) His mom was too kind to put up a smile and laughed as she listens to her daughter throw those questions on me. Until all of their relatives stepped-in and then listened to our conversation. But where was Amer? Hahahahahahaha..he stayed outside because her sister won’t stop mocking him.
The point to that meeting actually was that they do really want to hear me say that ‘Yes! We’re officially an item. Na sinagot ko si Amer. Na kami na nga!’ because they can’t believe it that I said yes to Amer. I can see it to their faces the ‘?’ mark. I wasn’t able to answer them straight why I said yes to him. Then let me justify my part here.
‘I know Amer hasn’t the physical quality of the ideal man that I was dreaming of when I was in high-school. Sabi nga nang ate niya, ‘hindi naman matangos ilong niya, hindi naman siya gwapo’. What makes him win my heart was the fact that he is a good and a true person! He may be a Muslim bound with Muslim tradition but I value the person behind that and then now he gave me a lot of reasons to fall for him, and its his family.
His sister said, hindi kaba natakot na mga Maranao kami? I simply said, ‘A lot of people stereotype the muslims as the bad ones and I want to find out me myself if really it was.’ Tawa pa siya nang tawa kasi nag english ako, ang hirap magtagalog teh! Hahahahaha..
I’m happy of what had happened tonight, I know her sister only wants to clarify the real score between me and Amer and I respect that. I love the smiles and the kilig that they felt when I was trying to hide at Amer or trying to make palaban.
Amer and I are taking things lightly, we’re not in a hurry or something, we’re just enjoying our everyday meet-up and its unplanned. I won’t say ‘I want to be part of their family but I’d like too!’
Amer was there of course, they keep on asking things like ‘Anu nagustuhan ko kay Amer?’, ‘Naka ilang uyab na ba ako?’, ‘Hindi ba ako natatakot na Maranao sila’, I was like ‘Wait! I’m not ready for this, AMER!’. I know Amer felt so embarrassed about the questions that his sister and his cousin has for me. Adding on the meeting that I have with the parents of Amer. Grabe! I felt like half of my body was on its grave nah. OMG! His father was so good that he made an effort to introduce me to his children (though I knew them nah) His mom was too kind to put up a smile and laughed as she listens to her daughter throw those questions on me. Until all of their relatives stepped-in and then listened to our conversation. But where was Amer? Hahahahahahaha..he stayed outside because her sister won’t stop mocking him.
The point to that meeting actually was that they do really want to hear me say that ‘Yes! We’re officially an item. Na sinagot ko si Amer. Na kami na nga!’ because they can’t believe it that I said yes to Amer. I can see it to their faces the ‘?’ mark. I wasn’t able to answer them straight why I said yes to him. Then let me justify my part here.
‘I know Amer hasn’t the physical quality of the ideal man that I was dreaming of when I was in high-school. Sabi nga nang ate niya, ‘hindi naman matangos ilong niya, hindi naman siya gwapo’. What makes him win my heart was the fact that he is a good and a true person! He may be a Muslim bound with Muslim tradition but I value the person behind that and then now he gave me a lot of reasons to fall for him, and its his family.
His sister said, hindi kaba natakot na mga Maranao kami? I simply said, ‘A lot of people stereotype the muslims as the bad ones and I want to find out me myself if really it was.’ Tawa pa siya nang tawa kasi nag english ako, ang hirap magtagalog teh! Hahahahaha..
I’m happy of what had happened tonight, I know her sister only wants to clarify the real score between me and Amer and I respect that. I love the smiles and the kilig that they felt when I was trying to hide at Amer or trying to make palaban.
Amer and I are taking things lightly, we’re not in a hurry or something, we’re just enjoying our everyday meet-up and its unplanned. I won’t say ‘I want to be part of their family but I’d like too!’
First Time! ♥
I only got the chance this time to blog our very first-time to be together (I won’t call it a date) because the setting was not a date scenario and we almost postponed it.
Anyways, it happened last Friday March 26, 2010. I invited him actually to come with me at school to meet my dance mate and to give him a glimpse of how my life was before we became an item. T’was a getting-to-know-each-other stage actually and I’m so shocked to know a lot of things about him.
What I learned about him was that, its his first time to ride a ‘jeepney’ and a ‘motorela’, to eat a kwek-kwek, to roam around DV..hahahahaha. Am I a B.I.? I’ve learned that he’s really quiet but makulit by nature. I love how he laughed at certain circumstances and how he cracked his punchlines that breaks my silence. Then I just knew that he was once a blood donor for Khalid. Dun ako talagang mas na touched!
He saw me dance and as what he uses to say he was my number 1 fan na to the highest level talaga, hahahahahaha. He waited patiently for us to end our rehearsal and without even murmuring that his tired of waiting or what, but he just gave me a smile that assures me that he was okay. He smiles when I was scold by our director, he laughs when I stumble with my routine but that smile and laugh trying to say that it was ‘OK’.
Right after, we ate kwek-kwek. My beloved kwek-kwek. We walked-talked-laughed, my lil sissy on the dance troupe finally met him. I was moved by the behavior he had towards my lil sissy. I thought he was gonna shut his mouth but hey, he talked to them like they knew each other nah. I’m so touched! We did talk about me converting and be a muslim (gusto niya but he’s not provoking me), about marriage (hala! Anu daw?).
What makes that very first-time was that, it’s the first time we hold-hands. :) After a week of being an item, we finally hold each others hand. And I cherished it the most! I saw the respect that he has for me as a woman and treating me like I was one of them (muslim). He never take an advantage of the moment that we were alone. He never said things that makes me feel unloved.
His definitely a good son, a loving brother, a reliable friend and a generous partner. I thought before I was the only one who can see his good heart but the people around us as well and I guess that is what I call ‘blessed’. Yes, I am blessed because God gave me a blessing that’s worth for keeps.
Before we went home to our respective homes, he bought me an ice cream and so it was, we ended the day with a cup of ice cream sprinkled with a toppings of love. ♥
Anyways, it happened last Friday March 26, 2010. I invited him actually to come with me at school to meet my dance mate and to give him a glimpse of how my life was before we became an item. T’was a getting-to-know-each-other stage actually and I’m so shocked to know a lot of things about him.
What I learned about him was that, its his first time to ride a ‘jeepney’ and a ‘motorela’, to eat a kwek-kwek, to roam around DV..hahahahaha. Am I a B.I.? I’ve learned that he’s really quiet but makulit by nature. I love how he laughed at certain circumstances and how he cracked his punchlines that breaks my silence. Then I just knew that he was once a blood donor for Khalid. Dun ako talagang mas na touched!
He saw me dance and as what he uses to say he was my number 1 fan na to the highest level talaga, hahahahahaha. He waited patiently for us to end our rehearsal and without even murmuring that his tired of waiting or what, but he just gave me a smile that assures me that he was okay. He smiles when I was scold by our director, he laughs when I stumble with my routine but that smile and laugh trying to say that it was ‘OK’.
Right after, we ate kwek-kwek. My beloved kwek-kwek. We walked-talked-laughed, my lil sissy on the dance troupe finally met him. I was moved by the behavior he had towards my lil sissy. I thought he was gonna shut his mouth but hey, he talked to them like they knew each other nah. I’m so touched! We did talk about me converting and be a muslim (gusto niya but he’s not provoking me), about marriage (hala! Anu daw?).
What makes that very first-time was that, it’s the first time we hold-hands. :) After a week of being an item, we finally hold each others hand. And I cherished it the most! I saw the respect that he has for me as a woman and treating me like I was one of them (muslim). He never take an advantage of the moment that we were alone. He never said things that makes me feel unloved.
His definitely a good son, a loving brother, a reliable friend and a generous partner. I thought before I was the only one who can see his good heart but the people around us as well and I guess that is what I call ‘blessed’. Yes, I am blessed because God gave me a blessing that’s worth for keeps.
Before we went home to our respective homes, he bought me an ice cream and so it was, we ended the day with a cup of ice cream sprinkled with a toppings of love. ♥
MIdnight Walk! ♥
T’was just an ordinary night, not having any thought that night would turn to be special. I know he was coming home from Marawi and that he wants to surprise me but thanks to his cousin for slipping his tongue. Na palaw! :P
We we’re chatting last night like the usual stuffs we do every night. I just came home from the practice and my stomach was really starving because I haven’t eaten yet. I was into a strick ‘diet’ if you may know (char na word) right now. I only eat rice by lunch and coffee or boiled egg for morning and then evening.
I told him about that and I ask him if there was some store who’s still open for service. He just said come and we’ll look for it. Without any hesitation, I then get out of the house without my parents knowing to think t’was almost 12 am (hehehe..bad!)
And so we’ve looked for some store, and I just bought a biscuit and a coffee, but he wants to buy that ice cream for me but I’d refuse to it because ice cream is too sweet. Nakakataba masyado ang ice cream. His kinda disappointed when I rejected it but he’d understand naman. I’ll make bawi naman.
Siyempre, we talked-laughed-talked-laughed like we’ve never seen each other for years. I just love the feeling that night, oh well, its been years na rin I haven’t feel that kind of spark. I actually cried the night before because I was just moved by the things he have said. I’m not expecting that much about our relationship but everyday was like we are a new born creature who would only live to love and to explore each others nature.
“Yes, I’m definitely in love with him because he just simply makes me feel that I was loved by him..”
We end the midnight walk with huge happy smiles on our faces and a heart that’s filled with love and gratitude. We hugged each other and simply whispered, ‘I love you Lolo-I love you Lola!’
We we’re chatting last night like the usual stuffs we do every night. I just came home from the practice and my stomach was really starving because I haven’t eaten yet. I was into a strick ‘diet’ if you may know (char na word) right now. I only eat rice by lunch and coffee or boiled egg for morning and then evening.
I told him about that and I ask him if there was some store who’s still open for service. He just said come and we’ll look for it. Without any hesitation, I then get out of the house without my parents knowing to think t’was almost 12 am (hehehe..bad!)
And so we’ve looked for some store, and I just bought a biscuit and a coffee, but he wants to buy that ice cream for me but I’d refuse to it because ice cream is too sweet. Nakakataba masyado ang ice cream. His kinda disappointed when I rejected it but he’d understand naman. I’ll make bawi naman.
Siyempre, we talked-laughed-talked-laughed like we’ve never seen each other for years. I just love the feeling that night, oh well, its been years na rin I haven’t feel that kind of spark. I actually cried the night before because I was just moved by the things he have said. I’m not expecting that much about our relationship but everyday was like we are a new born creature who would only live to love and to explore each others nature.
“Yes, I’m definitely in love with him because he just simply makes me feel that I was loved by him..”
We end the midnight walk with huge happy smiles on our faces and a heart that’s filled with love and gratitude. We hugged each other and simply whispered, ‘I love you Lolo-I love you Lola!’
September 21, 2010
Hello Blogspot!
Hi there my ever lovely blogspot? Haven't been posting here right? I was captivated by my Tumblr (easy way to blog), so I'm opt today to post one. I just miss you, you were my first official blog site and I know we've shared good and healthy thoughts together. You know my frailties and insecurities, don't you? I once planned to leave you but my heart always cling to you, so, here I am again bumping on to you. Am I still welcomed? Please take me again to your world.. Don't you miss my confessions and secrets?
I won't leave you that's why I'm making it up to you. I may not updated you as what I was doing before but still I'll always share something sweet on you.
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